Snail Hollow Gazette

Happy Mother's Day!

2011-05-08T18:06:00.001-07:00

obituary

2011-04-13T10:48:00.000-07:00

My father, Fredrick William Cobabe Sr., passed on to the spirit world today after a brief illness. He was 81 years old.

Out of 12 brothers and sisters, he is survived by his 2 brothers and one sister, his wife, Mary Cobabe, as well as 8 of their 9 children, 41 grandchildren, and 42 great-grandchildren. He leaves a rich legacy of wisdom, goodness, and virtue which were hallmarks of his life.

Ending a lifetime of unselfish service in the church, he goes forward to greater things.

Many will miss him.

April Conference

2011-04-03T12:53:00.000-07:00

April Conference archives are HERE.

2010-11-05T12:32:00.000-07:00

News...

I am currently takings classes at the technical college. I've concentrated my efforts on that, and getting lots of sleep.

I am trying to learn the tricks of MicrowSoft Word in the latest incarnation. But its hopeless. Now I am told that there is at 2010 release. It cannot be too much different from 2007 -- Can it?

October Conference

2010-10-12T14:09:00.000-07:00

October Conference transcripts found HERE

Living the Life 5

2010-08-04T17:25:00.001-07:00

The days pass...

Disturbing news from my friend Patricia -- her husband suffered a hemorrhagic stroke last week. Patricia, I am so sorry. My heart goes out to you and your family. I will pray for you...

That said, there is much to do that will help with rehabilitation. Mark may require a lot of help with mobility. Some stroke survivors regain a lot of their former function over a period of time. Establish a regular exercise regimen. One of the greatest hazards is accidental falls. You'll need to evaluate your living space to minimize the risks.

The hospital has probably already started things like physical therapy and other rehab treatments. You could find out what they've been doing and take it from there. A lot will depend on what neurological deficits you need to work with.

I don't understand why you needed another such trial Patricia, but you are obviously a very strong woman. There must be some reason we seem to get more than our fair share.

Ants

2010-07-04T07:10:00.000-07:00

Ants filter in and invade the home space, scavenging for food and water. They form a single file marching across the kitchen floor, emerging from a crack in the wall and spreading through the space.

Their seemingly random walk, departing occasionally from the rank and file, leads each worker ant on a journey of chance. Who can tell what wealth of crumbs lie waiting to be discovered?

The ants communicate using a scent that biologists call "pheromones". They lay down the invisible track apparently at will, allowing others to track and easily follow.

The ants form an uneasy relationship with human hosts. Their human benefactors don't like them much, but the ants are rather insensitive houseguests. They seem to take it in stride. They continue about their industry despite every rebuff.

April General Conference

2010-04-14T16:30:00.000-07:00

The April General Conference addresses are available online HERE, now appearing in many multimedia formats for your convenience.

Health Care image

2010-03-31T11:36:00.000-07:00

The image of service in health care is somewhat tarnished by the current debate. Should the quality of care be dictated by government bureaucrats? How good will that work? Who gets what, and who decides?

Health Care Debate

2010-03-22T22:46:00.000-07:00

Becky, guest blogger, here with a question.

Should age and/or mental state (ie; dementia) be considered when deciding intesity of care as in CPR, dialysis, ventilator support, etc?

Any opinions?

Pheasant

2010-03-18T08:39:00.000-07:00

A rooster pheasant appeared in the back yard yesterday. Sister Beth was here with grandson Isaac, and he chased it around until it grew nervous and flew off. It is a bird!, he announced, after watching it fly. The skeptical 4-year old, he doubted it was a bird until it spread wings and took off. Much to his wonder and delight.

He was never in any danger of catching it.

Snowpack

2010-03-08T15:44:00.000-08:00

The local SNOTEL station tells the typical story for the Wasatch Plateau, and the rest of northern Utah. Snow is where it should be in the mountains, but not in quantities we hope for. The plot shows us to be about 2" short of average in the north Sanpete area. That's enough to get by, but not as full as we'd like. We'll see what the rest of spring brings us.

Down south, in parts of southern Utah, they are floundering in record deep snow. Watch out for flooding this spring!

New Home

2010-02-22T17:07:00.000-08:00

We are established in a new home this week.

It breaks the comfortable routine and makes me uneasy, but it is a nice house and a nice neighborhood. I will grow with time, and no doubt become as comfortable here as at Snail Hollow. I'm easily pleased.

Schistocyte

2010-02-17T09:43:00.000-08:00

Schistocytes are fragmented red blood cells. I learned a new word today.

Living Notes 4

2010-02-03T18:25:00.000-08:00

Time has slipped by, and I have neglected to update this blog for many months. I cannot write what I do not have, sorry.

Change is the only constant factor life brings. The old saying "If you don't like the weather, just wait awhile...it will change," is a good one, because it applies so universally to living and to life.

I note, first, that we are preparing to move north to Utah County, to the city. Should be within weeks. More about that when it actually takes place.

In addition, things I have noted have changed slightly about my physical disposition. A lot of numbness and lack of sense data from my body have returned some function. I can feel with my arms and legs now. The skin of my scalp and face have become somewhat more sensitive. Some of these things have drawbacks as well, as I learned from standing in the cold wind, and feeling the chill for the first time in a long time.

It has been a long, cold winter here in Hideaway Valley. I cannot recall the last winter that we had deep snow for such a length of time. I think I would like to comment more on that subject, but this is enough for now.

Thanks to my friends who have waited through the quiet spell. I will try to do better.

Routine

2010-01-22T13:38:00.000-08:00

I am not as adventurous as Calvin; nor as sensible as his mother. Perhaps the break from routine will wait for some well-considered measures.

It appears to have reached the deciding point - Snail Hollow is moving to a new location in town. Mom and dad have listened to reasonable voices urging them to give up the rural life with its far-flung reaches, and move into the city with more accommodating services ready at hand. The plan is to be executed within the next couple of months, as the new house is made ready for occupancy. I am going along.

Absent Minded

2010-01-15T10:15:00.000-08:00

To followers of this blog...

I apologize for the interruption of posts. My mind is not focused. I excuse myself, drugs are to blame, at least in part.

I should add that other things are in the works, and may change Snail Hollow. More on that as it happens...

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-25T14:17:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas to all,

and best wishes for a Happy New Year!

General Conference: Attempting the Impossible

2009-10-22T16:23:00.000-07:00

Elder Jorge F. Zeballos of the Seventy counsels us that attempting the impossible, in the case of striving to become perfect, is worth the effort. Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are models we should be following.

We are not alone in our struggle. Our Father in Heaven watches over us and helps us because He wants us to be with Him for all eternity.

Through the Atonement of the Savior, we can achieve our greatest potential. God does not expect more than we are able. But He expects no less than that.

General Conference: Seeking to Know God, Our Heavenly Father, and His Son, Jesus Christ

2009-10-21T12:07:00.000-07:00

Elder Robert D. Hales of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles spoke to the saints about seeking to know God, and Jesus Christ.

Deepening secularism in the world arond us makes it ever more important to understand why the Savior's admonition,

“And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent".

To know God:

He Lives!

We were created in the physical image of Heavenly Father.

The Father and Son have a physical presence.

They speak with a voice. They have faces. The Son stands on the right of the Father.

Cultivate a desire to learn, and humility to be instructed. Eternal truth will be taught to you.

General Conference: Love and Law

2009-10-20T17:40:00.000-07:00

Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles spoke concerning the connection between love and God's commanments.

Confusing between love and law.

Why does God love us so much, and why do we desire that love?

God’s choicest blessings depend upon our obedience to God’s laws and commandments.

In teaching and reacting to their children, parents have many opportunities to apply these laws and commandments.

General Conference: The Love of God

2009-10-20T13:00:00.001-07:00

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf Second Counselor in the First Presidency instructs regarding the nature and attributes of Heavenly Father and His disciples.

He examines these points:

How Do We Become True Disciples of Jesus Christ?
Why Should We Love God?
Why Does Heavenly Father Love Us?
How Can We Increase Our Love of God?
Why Is Love the Great Commandment?
What attribute should define us as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints?

General Conference: More Diligent and Concerned at Home

2009-10-20T12:04:00.000-07:00

Elder David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles takes his theme from a passage of Doctrine and Covenants that admonishes the brethren to be "more diligent and concerned at home", and challenges the saints to follow that advice.

First, we should express love for our families -- and show it by our actions. Jesus taught about the link between words and deeds: "If ye love me, keep my commandments".

Second, bear testimony, and live it.

Third, be consistent.

General Conference: That Your Burdens May Be Light

2009-10-17T09:58:00.000-07:00

Elder L. Whitney Clayton of the Presidency of the Seventy counsels that our burdens can provide opportunities to practice virtues that contribute to eventual perfection.

Our burdens result from three sources in general:

- The nature of the world we live in
- The misconduct of others
- Our own mistakes.

Our burdens can provide opportunities that help us to progress.

Our burdens teach us humility.

We may gain by experiencing through empathy the burdens of others.

The Savior offers to deliver us from bondage.

General Conference: Helping Others Recognize the Whisperings of the Spirit

2009-10-16T14:48:00.000-07:00

Vicki F. Matsumori, Second Counselor in the Primary General Presidency, gave counsel with regard to helping others recognize spiritual insight, particularly our children. Starting from a quotation of a passage from the Doctrine and Covenants, she went on to explain how we can help others benefit from the communications of the Spirit they might otherwise miss. We teach them to understand the doctrine.

First, we teach them to recognize how they feel under the influence of the Spirit.

The scriptures and the prophets teach what this constant companionship feels like. The Lord tells us, “I will tell you in your mind and in your heart, by the Holy Ghost, which shall come upon you and which shall dwell in your heart.” Enos stated, “While I was . . . struggling in the spirit, behold, the voice of the Lord came into my mind.” Joseph Smith said, “When you feel pure intelligence flowing into you, it may give you sudden strokes of ideas.” President Henry B. Eyring described the influence of the Holy Ghost as “peace, hope, and joy.” He added, “Almost always I have also felt a sensation of light.”

My favorite description, though, comes from an eight-year-old boy who had just received the Holy Ghost. He said, “It felt like sunshine.”

Second, we do this by bearing our testimony. Sharing testimony helps others feel the influence of the Spirit.

Third, we provide an environment where the Spirit can be felt. This means taking the time and making the effort to invite spiritual feelings.

General Conference: To Acquire Spiritual Guidance

2009-10-13T17:05:00.000-07:00

Elder Richard G. Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles offers counsel and advice on obtaining the guidance of the Holy Spirit in our lives.

Elder Scott asserts that we may not have altogether similar circumstances as earlier stories we have learned of, because the world is changing at such a rapid pace, thus we may want to come to understand the correct principles that govern inspiration, that we may be ready to take advantage of that information as it comes to us.

Elder Scott counsels that inspiration is not subject to a simple formula or technique that would immediately allow us to master the ability to be guided by the voice of the Spirit. Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ expect us to exercise faith -- else inspiration would make us dependent and weak.

General Conference: Welcome to Conference

2009-10-13T16:32:00.000-07:00

President Thomas S. Monson opened the conference with the announcement of five new temples to be built: Brigham City, Utah; Concepción, Chile; Fortaleza, Brazil; Fort Lauderdale, Florida; and Sapporo, Japan. He quoted words of President Joseph F. Smith as he spoke of temple service and of the spirit world beyond mortality. Said he, “Through our efforts in their behalf their chains of bondage will fall from them, and the darkness surrounding them will clear away, that light may shine upon them and they shall hear in the spirit world of the work that has been done for them by their [people] here, and will rejoice with you in your performance of these duties.

He urged us to pray for those who live in places where the truth is not allowed, and prayed for us all, looking forward to the addresses of the speakers of the conference following.

October 2009 General Conference notes

2009-10-08T17:13:00.000-07:00

Another conference has come, and with it cause to meditate and consider counsel from church leaders.

Text of this conference is online here. If you like, follow me as I review the talks online.

I will do my best to be concise.

Utah Places: Bryce Canyon

2009-09-19T08:59:00.000-07:00

Bryce Canyon is unique, not alone because of the spectacular colorful shapes of rock formations, but also in the scope encompassed in the variety within the park. Through the four seasons, the area reflects a beauty all its own, not to be found elsewhere.

Some of the showiest opportunities are highlighted at NPS web pages, but the park deserves exploration. Just remember, don't take everything you read as the truth. NPS employees obviously don't know everything.

See the wonders of Bryce Canyon. Recommended.

General Conference: Unselfish Service

2009-09-18T17:27:00.000-07:00

Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles admonished the saints to render unselfish service.

Each year tens of thousands of Latter-day Saints submit their papers for full-time missionary service.

Latter-day Saints are also renowned for their ability to unite in cooperative efforts.

Unfortunately, some Latter-day Saints seem to forego unselfish service to others, choosing instead to fix their priorities on the standards and values of the world.

We live in a time when sacrifice is definitely out of fashion, when the outside forces that taught our ancestors the need for unselfish cooperative service have diminished.

All of this illustrates the eternal principle that we are happier and more fulfilled when we act and serve for what we give, not for what we get.

Our Savior teaches us to follow Him by making the sacrifices necessary to lose ourselves in unselfish service to others. If we do, He promises us eternal life, “the greatest of all the gifts of God” (D&C 14:7), the glory and joy of living in the presence of God the Father and His Son, Jesus Christ.

General Conference: None Were with Him

2009-09-17T10:44:00.000-07:00

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles delivered what was for me, the defining address of the conference.

His special dedication set the tone:

...it is directed in a special way to those who are alone or feel alone or, worse yet, feel abandoned. These might include those longing to be married, those who have lost a spouse, and those who have lost—or have never been blessed with—children. Our empathy embraces wives forsaken by their husbands, husbands whose wives have walked away, and children bereft of one or the other of their parents—or both. This group can find within its broad circumference a soldier far from home, a missionary in those first weeks of homesickness, or a father out of work, afraid the fear in his eyes will be visible to his family. In short it can include all of us at various times in our lives.
To all such, I speak of the loneliest journey ever made and the unending blessings it brought to all in the human family. I speak of the Savior’s solitary task of shouldering alone the burden of our salvation. Rightly He would say: “I have trodden the winepress alone; and of the people there was none with me. . . . I looked, and there was none to help; and I wondered that there was none to uphold [me].”

If this opening strikes particularly to your heart, as it did mine, then we are on the same page.

Read it yourself, and see...

Living Notes 3

2009-09-17T09:14:00.001-07:00

I have not posted for a while....Sorry. I apologize to those regular readers who anticipate something meaningful. I have had a hard time finding it of late. Need some help.

The man I trusted to do business with has withheld money that I must now argue in court to try to win back, more than nine thousand dollars. It is not my money -- most of it is owed to my employees. But the whole affair bores me. Thievery is so stupid, cheating is infantile, and ultimately leads to a sad end.

My physical condition continues fairly static. I note little progress on the stationary bike, or the treadmill. I am holding my own -- that's all.

We are make progress collecting firewood for the winter, not that I am much help in that endeavor. The stack on the front porch is about twenty percent of ready. Let the cold weather begin. I welcome the snow. At least it will bring a change. I'm looking forward to it. Fall colors are beginning to sow some impresive hues all around the valley.

Seasons change...

The Cremation of Sam McGee

2009-08-20T15:37:00.000-07:00

For reading around a campfire:

There are strange things done in the midnight sun
By the men who moil for gold;
The Arctic trails have their secret tales
That would make your blood run cold;
The Northern Lights have seen queer sights,
But the queerest they ever did see
Was that night on the marge of Lake Lebarge
I cremated Sam McGee.

Now Sam McGee was from Tennessee,
Where the cotton blooms and blows.
Why he left his home in the South to roam
'Round the Pole, God only knows.
He was always cold, but the land of gold
Seemed to hold him like a spell;
Though he'd often say in his homely way
That he'd "sooner live in hell".

On a Christmas Day we were mushing our way
Over the Dawson trail.
Talk of your cold! through the parka's fold
It stabbed like a driven nail.
If our eyes we'd close, then the lashes froze
Till sometimes we couldn't see;
It wasn't much fun, but the only one
To whimper was Sam McGee.

And that very night, as we lay packed tight
In our robes beneath the snow,
And the dogs were fed, and the stars o'erhead
Were dancing heel and toe,
He turned to me, and "Cap," says he,
"I'll cash in this trip, I guess;
And if I do, I'm asking that you
Won't refuse my last request."

Well, he seemed so low that I couldn't say no;
Then he says with a sort of moan:
"It's the cursed cold, and it's got right hold
Till I'm chilled clean through to the bone.
Yet 'tain't being dead -- it's my awful dread
Of the icy grave that pains;
So I want you to swear that, foul or fair,
You'll cremate my last remains."

A pal's last need is a thing to heed,
So I swore I would not fail;
And we started on at the streak of dawn;
But God! he looked ghastly pale.
He crouched on the sleigh, and he raved all day
Of his home in Tennessee;
And before nightfall a corpse was all
That was left of Sam McGee.

There wasn't a breath in that land of death,
And I hurried, horror-driven,
With a corpse half hid that I couldn't get rid,
Because of a promise given;
It was lashed to the sleigh, and it seemed to say:
"You may tax your brawn and brains,
But you promised true, and it's up to you
To cremate those last remains."

Now a promise made is a debt unpaid,
And the trail has its own stern code.
In the days to come, though my lips were dumb,
In my heart how I cursed that load.
In the long, long night, by the lone firelight,
While the huskies, round in a ring,
Howled out their woes to the homeless snows --
O God! how I loathed the thing.

And every day that quiet clay
Seemed to heavy and heavier grow;
And on I went, though the dogs were spent
And the grub was getting low;
The trail was bad, and I felt half mad,
But I swore I would not give in;
And I'd often sing to the hateful thing,
And it hearkened with a grin.

Till I came to the marge of Lake Lebarge,
And a derelict there lay;
It was jammed in the ice, but I saw in a trice
It was called the "Alice May".
And I looked at it, and I thought a bit,
And I looked at my frozen chum;
Then "Here," said I, with a sudden cry,
"Is my cre-ma-tor-eum."

Some planks I tore from the cabin floor,
And I lit the boiler fire;
Some coal I found that was lying around,
And I heaped the fuel higher;
The flames just soared, and the furnace roared --
Such a blaze you seldom see;
And I burrowed a hole in the glowing coal,
And I stuffed in Sam McGee.

Then I made a hike, for I didn't like
To hear him sizzle so;
And the heavens scowled, and the huskies howled,
And the wind began to blow.
It was icy cold, but the hot sweat rolled
Down my cheeks, and I don't know why;
And the greasy smoke in an inky cloak
Went streaking down the sky.

I do not know how long in the snow
I wrestled with grisly fear;
But the stars came out and they danced about
Ere again I ventured near;
I was sick with dread, but I bravely said:
"I'll just take a peep inside.
I guess he's cooked, and it's time I looked"; . . .
Then the door I opened wide.

And there sat Sam, looking cool and calm,
In the heart of the furnace roar;
And he wore a smile you could see a mile,
And he said: "Please close that door.
It's fine in here, but I greatly fear
You'll let in the cold and storm --
Since I left Plumtree, down in Tennessee,
It's the first time I've been warm."

There are strange things done in the midnight sun
By the men who moil for gold;
The Arctic trails have their secret tales
That would make your blood run cold;
The Northern Lights have seen queer sights,
But the queerest they ever did see
Was that night on the marge of Lake Lebarge
I cremated Sam McGee.

Utah Places: Santaquin Peak and Loafer Mountain

2009-08-15T08:46:00.000-07:00

Santaquin Peak and Loafer Mountain form the northern end of the Mount Nebo massif. Nebo summits are a long series of weathered rocky ridge, and these two peaks form the north end, before it drops off into Spanish Fork Canyon.

There are a number of ways to approach. The easiest climb is from the road just above Payson, where it turns south to jaunt toward Payson Lakes and Blackhawk Campground. There is a sign at the trailhead marking the departure. The two peaks are only about half-mile apart, so might as well bag them both, while you're there.

There is a trail coming south from Spanish Fork Canyon, just east of the big red barn, but I have never hiked it.

The peaks can also be hiked following trails from Birdsdeye on the east, and this is the route I have followed. Amble up the Bennie Creek trail till it intersects, then turn north to the summit of choice. Santaquin Peak overlooks Utah Valley to the west, and Loafer Mountain dominates the upper Sanpete Valley on the east. Both peaks offer a hiking challenge, especially in winter, and dramatic views all around.

If you enjoy boots-on-the-ground, this is a great hike. Much easier than some of the other Wasatch peaks, with a similar exposure and dramatic views. Overall, an under appreciated and relatively unrecognized hike.

Recommended.

Utah Places: Maple Canyon

2009-08-14T18:02:00.000-07:00

Maple Canyon is in the Sanpitch Mountains southwest of Moroni City. More rock climbers from outside of Utah come here than locals. It has a unique feature of deep narrow canyons eroded in a conglomerate rock formation that affords many ideal climbing holds and footrests. Even if you have little interest in rock climbing, it is a spectacular canyon. If you are into this kind of rock climbing, it is Mecca.

The surrounding mountains are worth exploring. There are other excellent places for rock climbing in the nearby canyons. The Maple Canyon area hosts a gem of a public campground that is a nice place to camp. Towering rocks make a dramatic background.

Lots of places to hike and play.

Recomended.

Utah Places: Bear River Bird Refuge

2009-08-13T15:57:00.000-07:00

The Great Salt Lake basin forms a drainage for the Bear River as it flows down fom the mountains, and with over 70,000 acres of wetland and marsh area, the Migratory Bird Refuge sees millions of waterfowl passing through or nesting within the boundaries. Bird lovers can watch their favorites, birds of every plumage and hue, passerby or resident. One of the largest refuges of its kind in the country. Worth seeing.

Administered by US Fish and Wildlife.

Bring field glasses.

General Conference: Come unto Him

2009-08-13T15:29:00.000-07:00

Elder Neil L. Andersen, newest member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, took the occasion as a newly called member of the quorum to bear witness of Jesus Christ, and share the roots of his testimony.

Elder Anderson testified that these are days long foretold by prophets. Regardless of the difficult challenges we face...

...Yet we must not shrink from what is uniquely and singularly found in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Only here is the priesthood of God, restored to earth by heavenly messengers. Only here does the Book of Mormon stand with the Bible in revealing and declaring the full divinity and gospel of Christ. Only here are there prophets of God, bringing guidance from heaven and holding the keys that bind in heaven what is bound on earth.

Elder Anderson shared the promise of the Savior's witness:

“I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live:

“And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die” (John 11:25–26).

Body Movement: Voluntary vs. Involuntary

2009-08-11T09:07:00.000-07:00

Not quite that simple, it turns out...

Some body movements have both a reflex component and a voluntary component. Many of them are rhythmic movements such as breathing, chewing, and walking. These movements are produced by neural circuits called central pattern generators. When activated, the neurons in these circuits generate a certain pattern of predetermined neural activity that smoothly co-ordinates the contraction of the many muscles involved in rhythmic activities.

These pattern generators free up the conscious mind so that I don't have to send down a voluntary command every time I want to put one foot in front of the other. In this respect, walking resembles a reflex activity. But I do have to issue voluntary commands when I want to start or stop walking, just as I do to pick up my pace to get across the street when the light turns yellow, or to make that little jump up to the curb on the opposite side, or a small sidestep to avoid a puddle along the way. Thus voluntary commands can also modulate certain reflex movements.

This is the effective compromise between the need to free my overworked and already frenzied mind from repetitive movements, and the need to retain some ability to adjust to changes and obstacles in the environment. Or, allow me to walk and chew gum at the same time.

An intriguing question: What actions are thoughtful, and which are mere reflex? Does my conscious know the reality and can I even tell the difference? How much of my day-to-day is really just pre-programmed knee-jerks, going through the motions?

What do YOU think?

Tendon Reflex

2009-08-10T16:22:00.001-07:00

Tendon reflex, like the patella reflex so often checked by doctors, tapping with the little rubber hammer, is an involuntary response to stimulus that prompts automatic reaction of a limb or body part. Some reflex actions like the patellar reflex operate in a closed neural circuit, called a "reflex arc", that saves time and thought, bypassing the conscious and immediately eliciting a quick response.

The relative health status of some individuals is also reflected in involuntary responses. When the doctor checks my patellar reflexes, watch out!, because some of them are hyperactive. Especially the right leg, which exhibits what is called "tonic" reflex, or just "tone" for short. Too much "tone" means that flexors and extensors are opposing each other too much to allow freedom of voluntary movement. When the doctor taps lightly on the ligament below the patella, my leg responds in a fairly dramatic way.

Babinsky's sign

2009-08-09T12:32:00.000-07:00

Babinsky's sign:
A -- normal reflex
B -- pathological response

One of the "stupid pet tricks" my doctors have me perform, again and again, is the positive Babinsky reflex that proves I am brain damaged. It sounds vaguely pejorative, but is actually also known as "plantar reflex", and is commonly used as a diagnostic to indicate neurological compromise. Babinski is the name of the famed French neurologist from whom the technique takes its name.

One of the most amusing things about being tested for a positive Babinsky is that the doctor asks you to take off your shoes and socks -- to determine the status of your brain!

Then they scrape something along the bottom of the bare foot, and watch which way your toes curl. If something is wrong, the big toe and other toes flex upward and outward. The normal reflex is for the toes to curl downward, like the clenching fist.

Some doctors use a tongue depressor or some the blunt little hammer doctors use for testing reflexes. Dr. Brin, my neurologist at the U, preferred to use a key from her key ring.

I can perform this trick on request at any time. Any number of doctors have watched and nodded wisely at the uneducated and uncouth response of my big toe. It seems like a silly thing for learned doctors to be studying on, playing with their patients feet.

Living Notes 2

2009-08-07T18:25:00.001-07:00

It is getting more difficult to find something interesting to say.

Not that I find my life boring. I do, sometimes--but that is beside the point. The point being that we have something of mutual interest to share. I take upon myself the obligation to find that something, that particular something, and to write about it. My writing is somewhat of a cathartic remedy--it affords an opportunity for me to express myself, and perhaps to even whine a little. Oh, but not too much. Too much whining is boring to you and depressing to me. So I refrain.
Sufficient to say, I am in a holding pattern -- I am handicapped from stroke damage and shark attacks, but the treatment is keeping these under control. For now.

I am dealing with the mentally unstable condition. Other things are bothersome but not fatal. COME WHAT MAY!

It is worth mentioning that last night, we had a visit from my bishop and stake president. It turned out to be more than a social call. They want me to do a job for the stake. I accepted the invitation to serve, with gladness. I have missed the job of working as the assistant clerk, because I could rub shoulders with some fine people in the ward. Anyway, at least they didn't ask me to be a new bishop or something. More on this later...

I have been performing adequately at PT workouts, but improvements are difficult to assess. Near as I can judge, I am about at the halfway mark as far as fitness and agility are concerned. It is tough to keep on going, three times per week, but I try not to miss...

I am measuring slight changes in sensory capacity, but whether these are real or imagined, the difference is too subtle to measure objectively. One thing I can tell is that I have more sensory definition in feeling my face and forehead. There may be slightly more sensitivity in my abdomen, but the skin still has some areas of numbness, so it is hard to tell. Legs are like posts still. Right foot has lost some ground in the sensory map--there are new areas of dead-feeling skin on the toes not noticed before. Oh, well. Gain some, lose some...

General Conference: The Way of the Disciple

2009-08-02T20:21:00.001-07:00

In his Sunday morning conference address, President Dieter F. Uchtdorf; Second Counselor in the First Presidency, describes the way of disciples of Jesus Christ.

Christ brought to us the pathway of discipleship -- the gospel. As we walk in that way, we can experience confidence and joy—even during times of peril, sorrow, and uncertainty.

Many in the world hunger for meaning and purpose to life. We struggle for a livelihood. The world offers all kinds of answers to life's problems, but few of them satisfy. The gospel is the divine formula for joy and happiness.

We become disciples by faith in the gospel. As we extend faith, we repent and receive the saving ordinances, and are accepted as members of the Lord's kingdom here on earth. We continue to gain in faith and testimony as the gift of the Holy Spirit whispers truths to our soul, and we are inspired to greater things. These are the first steps along the true way of life and fulfillment. This is the peaceable way of the follower of Jesus Christ.

This is a pathway of patience, requiring long application to win success.

Discipleship is a journey. We need the refining lessons of the journey to craft our character and purify our hearts. By patiently walking in the path of discipleship, we demonstrate to ourselves the measure of our faith and our willingness to accept God’s will rather than ours.

It is not enough merely to speak of Jesus Christ or proclaim that we are His disciples. It is not enough to surround ourselves with symbols of our religion. Discipleship is not a spectator sport. We cannot expect to experience the blessings of faith by standing inactive on the sidelines any more than we can experience the benefits of health by sitting on a sofa watching sporting events on television and giving advice to the athletes. And yet for some, “spectator discipleship” is a preferred if not a primary way of worshipping.

Ours is not a secondhand religion. We cannot receive the blessings of the gospel merely by observing the good that others do. We need to get off the sidelines and practice what we preach

We start here, take that first step. There is no requirement to be educated, eloquent, or intellectual. We do not have to be perfect or well-spoken or even well-mannered.

You and I can walk in the path of discipleship today. Let us be humble; let us pray to our Father in Heaven with all our heart and express our desire to draw close to Him and learn of Him.

Have faith.

Seek, and you will find.

Knock, and the door will be opened.

Serve the Lord by serving others.

Become an active participant in your ward or branch.

Strengthen your family by committing to live the principles of the gospel.

Be of one heart and of one mind in your marriage and in your family.

Have a temple recommend and use it.

Now is the time to have meaningful family home evenings.

Read the word of God.

Speak to our Heavenly Father in earnest prayer.

Express gratitude for the Restoration of His Church.

For living prophets, the Book of Mormon, and the priesthood power.

Embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, become His disciples, and walk in His way.

There are some who believe that because they have made mistakes, they can no longer fully partake of the blessings of the gospel. How little they understand the purposes of the Lord. One of the great blessings of living the gospel is that it refines us and helps us learn from our mistakes. We “all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God,” yet the Atonement of Jesus Christ has the power to make us whole when we repent.

Our Heavenly Father loves us—even with all our flaws! His love is such that even should we give up on ourselves, He never will.

“We see ourselves in terms of yesterday and today. Our Heavenly Father sees us in terms of forever. . . .

“The gospel of Jesus Christ is a gospel of transformation. It takes us as men and women of the earth and refines us into men and women for the eternities.”

To those who have left the path of discipleship for whatever reason, I invite you to start where you are and come to the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. Walk again in the way of the Lord. I testify that the Lord will bless your life, endow you with knowledge and joy beyond comprehension, and distill upon you the supernal gifts of the Spirit. It is always the right time to walk in His way. It is never too late.

To those who feel inadequate because they have not been members of the Church all their lives, to those who feel that they can never make up for the time they have lost, I testify that the Lord needs your specific abilities, talents, and skills. The Church needs you; we need you. It is always the right time to walk in His way. It is never too late.

General Priesthood: Be Your Best Self

2009-07-30T09:36:00.000-07:00

President Thomas S. Monson counseled in his General Priesthood address about striving to put forward our best.

He cited several sources indicating that we face grave difficulties in this task, and offered his advise on how to be successful. The Lord is on our side -- we cannot fail. It is not a time to fear, but to go forth with courage.

The three key elements for success he enumerates are:

1. Study diligently.
2. Pray fervently.
3. Live righteously.

President Monson suggests that if we study the scriptures daily we will have power to resist any temptation that is put before us. The Holy Spirit will guide us as we study.

Fervent prayer will be answered, as with God, all things are possible. Prayer is the provider of spiritual strength.

Holders of the priesthood may not necessarily be eloquent in their speech. They may not hold advanced degrees in difficult fields of study. They may very well be men of humble means. But God is no respecter of persons, and He will sustain His servants in righteousness as they avoid the evils of our day and live lives of virtue and purity

Reiterating: Temper Tantrums

2009-07-30T09:22:00.001-07:00

Like I said, I have them too...

I remember one of mom's expressions "...so mad I could spit!"

But mom is not alone with this problem. I recall one sister who stormed off to her room on a regular basis, trailing the refrain, "...I'm Never gonna love you again, Never Ever, Never!!!"

To be concluded by the slamming of the bedroom door with an energy and vigor that would shake the dust and shiver the whole house.

Peculiar to this family is the internal antagonism that characterizes family groups. but an expectation that we should somehow be different. A strange idea. We ought to be better.

We remember things from early childhood rather selectively, I suppose. Any suggestion can direct memory to be positive or negative, depending on the particular chosen bias.

Let others comment about their own experience. Each has their own perspective.

Neurology 103: Basilar Artery Thrombosis

2009-07-26T11:52:00.001-07:00

I have been studying a series of medical journal articles about basilar artery thrombosis, which is what caused my brain stem strokes.

According to one online journal, Basilar artery occlusion is associated with a poor prognosis. Some patients with partial occlusion have limited ischemic injury and, therefore, a better prognosis, although outcomes continue to be poor.

Those factors associated with poor outcome include decreased level of consciousness, dysarthria, pupillary abnormalities, bulbar symptoms, diplopia, bilateral cerebellar lesions, tetraplegia, and a cardiac cause of embolism. Up to 90% of patients with no such factors have a good functional outcome, while all patients with such factors either died or had severe disability.

The mortality rate is consistently reported at greater than 70%. Recanalization may decrease the mortality rate by 50%. However, the outcome in a recent series of patients with basilar artery thrombosis treated with antithrombotics was similar to the reported outcome in the available series of patients treated with thrombolytic therapy.

tPA treatment was not applied in a timely manner in my case, but I started using Plavix, a antithrombotic drug that may serve to moderate future thrombosis. I hope so, anyway.

Amateur Pshrink VII

2009-07-24T11:46:00.000-07:00

Klonopin Addiction and Treatment- K-pin - Kiddie Cocaine – Another Form of Prescription Drug Abuse

Some people become addicted to prescription drugs. Their doctors may not recognize the symptoms as well as those who spend more time with these individuals.

Klonopin is classified as a depressant, similar in every respect to alcohol, and similarly addictive to the abuser. The changes in personality and behavior are notable:

• Dizziness
• Drowsiness
• Confusion
• Impaired motor function
• Impaired coordination and balance.

Some of the less seen side effects of Klonopin use include the following:

• dis-inhibition
• rage
• impulsiveness
• excitement
• irritability
• hangover-like symptoms
• feeling drowsy
• headaches
• sluggish
• irritable after waking

This occurs because of Klonopin’s long half-life which means that the medication itself stays in the person’s bloodstream.

The real danger related to Klonopin comes when individuals either mix the drug with another substance. Use of other drugs intensifies the general effects.

The other situation where Klonopin use is dangerous is when use of the drug is abruptly discontinued after long term use. Everyone who utilizes Klonopin long term becomes low dose dependent. Side effects of the drug itself are generally benign, but sudden withdrawal after long-term use can cause severe, even fatal, symptoms. Symptoms of withdrawal include: Anxiety, irritability, insomnia, panic attacks, tremors and DT’s (delirium tremens) which occurs with long term use.

Not only can long term Klonopin use result in dependence, it can also result in protracted withdrawal. This means withdrawal can last for months, years, or even a life time. This only occurs in ten to fifteen percent of cases, however, the risk is real. This results because of brain damage, which is usually irreversible. Some symptoms include: anxiety, insomnia, tinnitus, tingling and numbness in limbs, muscle pain and tension, cramps, weakness, irritable bowel, and cognitive difficulties.

DEA Link on Klonopin

benzodiazepine addiction

Amateur Pshrink VI

2009-07-23T17:56:00.000-07:00

Major Depressive Disorder

Signs & Symptoms

Persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" mood
Feelings of hopelessness, pessimism
Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, helplessness
Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities that were once enjoyed
More about Signs & Symptoms »

I am currently taking Cymbalta as an antidepressant, Zyprexa sedative and antipsychotic, and Zonegran antiseizure medicine. I was taking Seroquil but quit using it. I was also taking Klonopin but quit using it too. It has some unpleasant side effects.

I take Verapamil, quite a large dose, twice daily, because the calcium channel blocker mechanism seems to prevent my basilar type attacks, as well as lowering blood pressure. I also take Plavix which does something to prevent blood clotting as normal.

Without the Seroquil I was only able to sleep for an hour or two per day. Apparently some brain mechanism that regulates my sleeping was damaged in one of my brain stem strokes.

Reiterating: Silence is Perfect

2009-07-22T14:10:00.000-07:00

I reiterate, at the risk of repeating myself.

I am still trying to find the fullest measure of love and life. My choices don't please everyone. I realize that, but it is a catch-22 situation.

The harder I try to please certain others, the less satisfied I am. They define their own arbitrary rules for things that seem axiomatic and standard to me. Truth is not situational or a matter of convenience. That which is true one moment must necessarily be true the next, all else being equal.

I am an advocate of Thumper's Rule -- "IF YOU CAN'T SAY SOMTHIN' NICE, DON'T SAY ANYTHIN' AT ALL".

As a result, I find myself speaking and writing less and less. Perhaps silence is perfection.

General Priesthood: "Man Down!"

2009-07-13T16:48:00.000-07:00

President Henry B. Eyring First Counselor in the First Presidency advised in his priesthood address that feeling of responsibility for others is at the heart of faithful priesthood service.

President Eyring asserts,

You will need bravery and you will need boldness because you are enlisted in the Lord’s army in the last dispensation. This is not a time of peace. That has been so since Satan arrayed his forces against our Heavenly Father’s plan in the premortal existence. We don’t know the details of the combat then. But we know one result. Satan and his followers were cast down into the earth. And since the creation of Adam and Eve, the conflict has continued. We have seen it intensify. And the scriptures suggest that the war will become more violent and the spiritual casualties on the Lord’s side will mount.

Almost all of us have seen a battlefield portrayed in a film or read the description in a story. Over the din of explosions and the shouts of soldiers, there comes a cry, “Man down!”

The metaphor is extended -- soldiers rush to the aid of a fallen comrade.

Such a feeling of responsibility for others is at the heart of faithful priesthood service. Our comrades are being wounded in the spiritual conflict around us. So are the people we are called to serve and protect from harm. Spiritual wounds are not easily visible, except with inspired eyes. But bishops, branch presidents, and mission presidents sitting before fellow disciples of the Savior can see the wounded and the wounds.

The wounds of sin are often not perceived as such by the one injured. Satan uses some soporific to deaden the spiritual pain while wounding. Unless there is intervention to begin repentance, the wound can worsen and widen.

You may think, “Maybe the trouble I thought I saw is just my imagination. What right do I have to judge another? It’s not my responsibility. I’ll leave it alone until he asks for help.”

You are responsible to be brave enough and bold enough not to turn away.

you are under covenant, as has been made clear to you, that when you accepted the trust from God to receive the priesthood, you accepted a responsibility for whatever you might do or fail to do for the salvation of others however difficult and dangerous that might appear to be for you.

Jacob in the Book of Mormon described his sacred trust when he moved in difficult circumstances to give aid: “Now, my beloved brethren, I, Jacob, according to the responsibility which I am under to God, to magnify mine office with soberness, and that I might rid my garments of your sins, I come up into the temple this day that I might declare unto you the word of God.”

Now, you might object that Jacob was a prophet and you are not. But your office, whatever it is in the priesthood, brings with it an obligation to “lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees”³ of those around you. You are the Lord’s servant covenanted to do for others, as best you can, what He would do.

Jacob believed the woe of any fallen man or woman he could have helped and did not would become his own sorrow. Your happiness and that of those you are called to serve as a priesthood holder are bound together.

Now, we come to the question of how best to help those you are called to serve and rescue. That will depend on your capacities and on the nature of your priesthood relationship to the person who is in spiritual peril. Let me give three cases which may be your opportunity at times in your priesthood service.

Let’s start when you are an inexperienced junior companion, a teacher in the Aaronic Priesthood assigned with a seasoned companion to visit a young family. Before preparing for the visit you will pray for strength and inspiration to see their needs and know what help you could give. If you can, you will have that prayer with your companion, naming those you will visit. As you pray your heart will be drawn out to them personally and to God. You and your companion will agree on what you hope to accomplish. You will work out a plan for what you will do.

Whatever the plan, you will watch and listen with great intensity and humility during the visit. You are young and inexperienced. But the Lord knows their spiritual state and their needs perfectly. He loves them. And because you know He sends you to act for Him, you can have faith that you can sense their needs and what you can do to meet your charge to help. It will come as you visit face-to-face in their home. That is why you have this priesthood charge in the Doctrine and Covenants: “Visit the house of each member, and exhort them to pray vocally and in secret and attend to all family duties.”

And then you have an added charge which takes even greater discernment:

“The teacher’s duty is to watch over the church always, and be with and strengthen them;

“And see that there is no iniquity in the church, neither hardness with each other, neither lying, backbiting, nor evil speaking;

“And see that the church meet together often, and also see that all the members do their duty.”

You and your companion will rarely receive inspiration to know the details of the degree to which they are meeting that standard. But I can promise you from experience that you will be given the gift to know what is well with them. And from that you will be able to encourage them. There is another promise I can make: you and your companion will be inspired to know what changes they could make to begin the spiritual healing they need. The words of what you are charged to have happen in their lives will almost certainly contain some of the most important changes the Lord would have them make.

If your companion feels an impression to urge change, watch what he does. You will likely be surprised at the way the Spirit guides him to speak. There will be the sound of love in his voice. He will find a way to tie the needed change with a blessing that will follow. If it is the father or mother who needs to make a change, he may show how it would lead to happiness for the children. He will describe the change as a move away from unhappiness to a better and safer place.

Your contribution during the visit may seem to you small, but it can be more powerful than you may think possible. You will show by your face and manner that you care for the people. They will see that your love for them and the Lord makes you unafraid. And you will be bold enough to bear your testimony to truth. Your humble, simple, and perhaps brief testimony may touch the heart of a person more easily than that of your more experienced companion. I have seen it happen.

Whatever part you play in that priesthood visit, your desire to go to the people for the Lord to help them will bring at least two blessings. First, you will feel the love of God for the people you visit. And, second, you will feel the Savior’s gratitude for your desire to give the help the Savior knew they needed.

He sent you to them because He trusted that you would go feeling responsible to urge them toward Him and toward happiness.

As you grow a little older, there is another opportunity which will come to you in priesthood service. You will come to know your fellow quorum members well. You may have played basketball or football or shared some youth activities and service projects. With some you will have become close friends.

You will recognize when they are happy and when they are sad. Neither of you may be in a position of authority in the quorum. But you will feel responsible for your fellow member in the priesthood. He may confide in you that he is beginning to break a commandment which you know will do him spiritual harm. He may ask for advice because he trusts you.

If you succeed in influencing one away from a dangerous path, you will never forget the joy which came from being his true friend. If you do not succeed, I promise that when his grief and sadness come, as they will, you will feel his pain as if it were your own. Yet if you tried to help, you will still be his friend. And, in fact, for years he may talk with you about what good things there might have been and how grateful he is that you cared enough to try. You will comfort him then and invite him again, as you did in your youth, to come back to the happiness which the Atonement still makes possible for him.

Living Notes

2009-07-13T09:21:00.000-07:00

Life is tough.

Nothing can be more difficult than what I have experienced in the past year. I can say this from my own subjective point of view. But that is my basis for judgment.

Good thing it is that I can only describe the experiences in words. You do not want to go there yourself, take my assurance.

In any case, we do not have the prerogative to determine the limits or bounds of our own lifetime, except under the most extraordinary circumstances. God knows and manages these parameters. When it is my time for the end of life, I will be summoned, and I will go.

Until that day, I stay in the race...

Sensory Inventory XIII

2009-07-02T09:10:00.000-07:00

These signals are not all functioning properly in my body. The neural network that is supposed to do the work of transmitting signals through my brain is partly dead or dying. Cells that used to be in the loop no longer carry any signals, so like a little child, I am teaching my body to send the signal through parts of the brain that are still living.

This process is frustrating, because not only is it agonizingly slow, but also ensuing strokes can undo all the work I have done for months, and more. All in a matter of seconds.

Not that I am griping.

Yes I am.

It is patently unfair. Tedious and tiresome. Long and uneventful, with short meaningful episodes that tend to be filled with despair and horror.

I think death would bring welcome peace.

Much of the sensory map of my body seems to be fairly static for the past few weeks. But I am concerned about a growing proprioception faultiness in my hips that throws me off balance betimes. It catches me at odd moments when I let down my guard, and I awkwardly stumble and teeter to keep from falling.

If it continues to get worse, I will consult with the neurologists again. But that is a tough choice, when they want something objective to evaluate, and I have only a feeling to offer.

Toes on my left foot have come to life, after a fashion -- they hurt, most of the time. Right foot, pretty dead. Legs - not much tactile sense. Abdomen same. The consistent thing is not much change to report. If things are changing, it is very slow.

Slow seems to be the order of the day.

Rehab progress 35

2009-07-02T08:38:00.001-07:00

I am performing as well as can be expcted at my PT sessions. Up to a half mile in fifteen minutes on the treadmill, with very minimal noticeable exertion. I will start increasing the pace, as my balance and equilibrium hopefully continue to improve. By my estimate I am equivalent to the level of performance I was at after recovering from the first stroke for two months. At that point I had another stroke, so I am not hoping for a repeat of that sequence.

I am having other problems, though. Lack of ability stops me at every turn. I cannot do all the things I want to do. I am suffering from mental depression that makes everything look that much more difficult. And I have seeming insurmountable troubles with running my business venture,.

I suppose these things will work out. They always do...

General Priesthood: We Are Doing a Great Work and Cannot Come Down

2009-06-27T09:13:00.000-07:00

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf Second Counselor in the First Presidency counsels priesthood bearers to tend their responsibility with unswerving dedication. He illustrates with a story about an airliner crash caused by a simple single distraction that resulted in the loss of many lives, even though the fault was only caused by a burned-out light bulb, and inattention to the details that matter most.

President Uchtdorf cites the story of Nehemiah, commissioned to strengthen the city walls, would not come down in the midst of his task and be distracted from what was important.

As the work continued, Nehemiah's enemies became more desperate. Four times they entreated him to leave the safety of the city and meet with them under the pretense of resolving the conflict, but Nehemiah knew that their intent was to do him harm. Each time they approached him, he responded with the same answer: "I am doing a great work, so that I cannot come down."
What a remarkable response! With that clear and unchanging purpose of heart and mind, with that great resolve, the walls of Jerusalem rose until they were rebuilt in an astonishing 52 days.

Nehemiah refused to allow distractions to prevent him from doing what the Lord wanted him to do.
Like Nehemiah, we have a great work to do, and must not be distracted from our duty. Unlike him, there is room for improvement. Our focus must be on the task at hand.

General Priesthood: This Is Your Phone Call

2009-06-26T08:03:00.000-07:00

Bishop Richard C. Edgley, First Counselor in the Presiding Bishopric, spoke directly and with some force in issuing a "phone call" to priesthood holders, calling them to action in support of financial and employment challenges facing church members.

Quoting from Gordon B. Hinckley:

“I am satisfied, my brethren, that there is enough of expertise, of knowledge, of strength, of concern in every priesthood quorum to assist the troubled members of that quorum if these resources are properly administered.

“. . . It is the obligation of the priesthood quorum to set in motion those forces and facilities which will equip the needy member to provide on a continuing basis for himself and his family.”³
In October 1856, during a general conference, President Young learned that two handcart companies, the Martin company and the Willie company, were traveling late in the season and would face harsh winter weather on the plains of the western United States. He stood at the pulpit as a prophet of God and declared:

“Many of our brethren and sisters are on the plains with hand-carts, . . . and they must be brought here, we must send assistance to them. . . . This community is to send for them and bring them in. . . .

“That is my religion; that is the dictation of the Holy Ghost that I possess, it is to save the people. . . .

“I will tell you all that your faith, religion, and profession of religion, will never save one soul of you in the celestial kingdom of our God, unless you carry out just such principles as I am now teaching you. Go and bring in those people now on the plains.”⁴

As a result of President Young’s call to action, wagons with teams of mules, men to drive them, and flour and other supplies were immediately sent to rescue the people stranded on the plains.

Extra Sensory

2009-06-16T18:58:00.000-07:00

I have as little sense of motion as those who supposedly thought the earth was the center of all.

Perhaps it is.

Yet it remains, the same phenomenon that has been observed for generations of time.

I pointed out one time to a group of elders that on that Super Bowl Sunday, millions of people would experience the same illusion, believing that they are "watching" a football game. They were not watching the game per se, but a televised facsimile of one. You might be wont to assert that this is a distinction without a difference, but physical presence can be important, even vital at times.

Our world is dominated and filled with forces we cannot sense. Yet we believe in them, and even use them without thought. Electricity and magnetism are so integral to our machines that we don't give a second's thought. But they would cease to run without that unseen force.

Maybe seeing is believing. But not seeing can be a sure thing too, at times.

From the writings of Alma, in the Book of Mormon:

"...And now as I said concerning faith—^afaith is not to have a perfect knowledge of things; therefore if ye have faith ye ^bhope for things which are ^cnot seen, which are true." (Alma 32:21)

General Priesthood: Counsel to Young Men

2009-06-14T15:44:00.000-07:00

President Boyd K. Packer, president of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, spoke to the young men of the Aaronic Priesthood about the future.

The Aaronic Priesthood ordination was done by the hands of an angel, who announced himself as John, the same that is called John the Baptist in the New Testament. The angel explained that he was acting under the direction of Peter, James, and John, the ancient apostles, who held the keys of the higher priesthood, which was called the Priesthood of Melchizedek.The power and authority of the lesser, or Aaronic Priesthood, is to hold the keys of the ministering of angels, and to administer in outward ordinances, the letter of the gospel, the baptism of repentance for the remission of sins, agreeable to the covenants and commandments.

There are some things to understand.
The priesthood is something you cannot see nor hear nor touch, but it is a real authority and a real power.

When Packer was five years old, he had polio. It made him very self-conscious. He knew that he could never be an athlete.

He said it did not help a lot when he read about the man who went to a doctor to find a cure for his inferiority complex. After a careful examination, the doctor told him, “You don’t have a complex. You really are inferior!”

I learned that you should always take care of your body. Take nothing into your body that will harm it, such as we are counseled in the Word of Wisdom: tea, coffee, liquor, tobacco, or anything else that is habit-forming, addictive, or harmful.

Read section 89 in the Doctrine and Covenants. You will find great promises:

“All saints who remember to keep and do these sayings, walking in obedience to the commandments, shall receive health in their navel and marrow to their bones;

“And shall find wisdom and great treasures of knowledge, even hidden treasures;

“And shall run and not be weary, and shall walk and not faint.”

And then this promise: “And I, the Lord, give unto them a promise, that the destroying angel shall pass by them, as the children of Israel, and not slay them.”

You may see others who seem to have been given a more perfect body than yours. Do not fall into the trap of feeling poorly about your height or weight or your features or your skin color or race.

Your gender was determined in the premortal existence. You were born a male. You must treasure and protect the masculine part of your nature. You must have respectful, protective regard for all women and girls.

Avoid pornography and narcotics.

Talk to parents; talk to the bishop. They will know how to help you.

Do not decorate your body with tattoos or piercing to add jewels.

Do not run with friends that worry your parents.

Lucifer and his legion of angels tempt you to do things and say things and think things that would destroy. Resist every impulse that will trouble your spirit.

You are not to be fearful. The Prophet Joseph Smith taught that “all beings who have bodies have power over those who have not.”

And Lehi taught that all “men are instructed sufficiently that they know good from evil.”

I made mistakes, not intentionally, but I made them. I once foolishly thought maybe I was baptized too soon. I did not understand that the ordinance of the sacrament, administered by you of the Aaronic Priesthood, is in fact a renewing of the covenant of baptism and the reinstating of the blessings connected with it. I did not see, as the revelations tell us, that I could “retain a remission of [my] sins.”

If you have been guilty of sin or mischief, you must learn about the power of the Atonement, how it works. And with deeply sincere repentance, you can unleash that power. It can rinse out all the small things, and with deep soaking and scrubbing, it will wash away serious transgression. There is nothing from which you cannot be made clean.

With you always is the Holy Ghost, which was conferred upon you at the time of your baptism and confirmation.

You young men should not complain about schooling. Do not immerse yourself so much in the technical that you fail to learn things that are practical. Everything you can learn that is practical—in the house, in the kitchen cooking, in the yard—will be of benefit to you. Never complain about schooling. Study well, and attend always.

“The glory of God is intelligence, or, in other words, light and truth.”

“Whatever principle of intelligence we attain unto in this life, it will rise with us in the resurrection.”

We are to learn about “things that are above, and things that are beneath, things that are in the earth, and upon the earth, and in heaven.”

You can learn about fixing things and painting things and even sewing things and whatever else is practical. That is worth doing. If it is not of particular benefit to you, it will help you when you are serving other people.

The certainties of the gospel, the truth, once you understand it, will see you through these difficult times. Your generation is filled with uncertainties. A life of fun and games and expensive toys has come to an abrupt end. We move from a generation of ease and entertainment to a generation of hard work and responsibility. We do not know how long that will last.

The reality of life is now part of your priesthood responsibilities. It will not hurt you to want something and not have it. There is a maturing and disciplining that will be good for you. It will ensure that you can have a happy life and raise a happy family. These trials come with responsibility in the priesthood.

Some of you live in countries where most of what you eat and some of what you wear will depend on what can be produced by the family. It may be that what you can contribute will make the difference so that the rent is paid or the family is fed and housed. Learn to work and to support.

The very foundation of human life, of all society, is the family, established by the first commandment to Adam and Eve, our first parents: “Multiply, and replenish the earth.”

Thereafter came the commandment, “Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.”

Be a responsible member of your family. Take care of your possessions—your clothing, your property. Do not be wasteful. Learn to be content.

It may seem that the world is in commotion; and it is! It may seem that there are wars and rumors of wars; and there are! It may seem that the future will hold trials and difficulties for you; and it will! However, fear is the opposite of faith. Do not be afraid! I do not fear.

General Conference: Lessons from the Lord’s Prayers

2009-06-06T17:28:00.000-07:00

Elder Russell M. Nelson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles teaches about prayer, using the Saviors prayers from the scriptures for example and instruction.

The Lord’s Prayer is recorded twice in the New Testament and once in the Book of Mormon. It is also included in the Joseph Smith Translation of the Bible, where clarification is provided by these two phrases:

“Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us,” and
“Suffer us not to be led into temptation, but deliver us from evil.”

The clarification on forgiveness is supported by other statements of the Master. He said to His servants, “Inasmuch as you have forgiven one another your trespasses, even so I, the Lord, forgive you.” In other words, if one is to be forgiven, one must first forgive. The clarification on temptation is helpful, for surely we would not be led into temptation by Deity. The Lord said, “Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation.”

Though the four versions of the Lord’s Prayer are not identical, they all open with a salutation to “Our Father,” signifying a close relationship between God and His children. The phrase “hallowed be thy name” reflects the respect and worshipful attitude that we should feel as we pray. “Thy will be done” expresses a concept that we will discuss later.

His request for “daily bread” includes a need for spiritual nourishment as well. Jesus, who called Himself “the bread of life,” gave a promise: “He that cometh to me shall never hunger.” And as we partake of sacramental emblems worthily, we are further promised that we may always have His Spirit to be with us. That is spiritual sustenance that cannot be obtained in any other way.

As the Lord closes His prayer, He acknowledges God’s great power and glory, ending with “Amen.” Our prayers also close with amen. Though it is pronounced differently in various languages, its meaning is the same. It means “truly” or “verily.”¹² Adding amen solemnly affirms a sermon or a prayer. Those who concur should each add an audible amen to signify “that is my solemn declaration too.”

The Lord prefaced His prayer by first asking His followers to avoid “vain repetitions” and to pray “after this manner.” Thus, the Lord’s Prayer serves as a pattern to follow and not as a piece to memorize and recite repetitively. The Master simply wants us to pray for God’s help while we strive constantly to resist evil and live righteously.

General Conference: Temple Worship

2009-06-06T10:40:00.001-07:00

Elder Richard G. Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles offered counsel regarding temple worship for the saints. He asserts that faithful temple worship can be the source of strength and power in times of need. When we keep the temple covenants we have made and when we live righteously, we have no reason to worry or to feel despondent.

To gain more benefit from temple attendance:

Understand the doctrine related to temple ordinances, especially the significance of the Atonement of Jesus Christ.
While participating in temple ordinances, consider your relationship to Jesus Christ and His relationship to our Heavenly Father. This simple act will lead to greater understanding of the supernal nature of the temple ordinances.
Always prayerfully express gratitude for the incomparable blessings that flow from temple ordinances. Live each day so as to give evidence to Father in Heaven and His Beloved Son of how very much those blessings mean to you.
Schedule regular visits to the temple.
Leave sufficient time to be unhurried within the temple walls.
Rotate activities so that you can participate in all of the ordinances of the temple.
Remove your watch when you enter a house of the Lord.
Listen carefully to the presentation of each element of the ordinance with an open mind and heart.
Be mindful of the individual for whom you are performing the vicarious ordinance. At times pray that he or she will recognize the vital importance of the ordinances and be worthy or prepare to be worthy to benefit from them.
Recognize that much of the majesty of the sealing ordinance cannot be understood and remembered with one live experience. Substantial subsequent vicarious work permits one to understand much more of what is communicated in the live ordinances.
Realize that a sealing ordinance is not enduring until after it is sealed by the Holy Spirit of Promise. Both individuals must be worthy and want the sealing to be eternal.

Those who live far away sometime avail themselves of opportunities more often and more faithfully than those of us who have a temple but a short distance away. Make regular temple attendance a habit.

Sensory Inventory XII

2009-06-06T05:39:00.000-07:00

Proprioception (pronounced /ˌproʊpriːəˈsɛpʃən/ PRO-pree-o-SEP-shun); from Latin proprius, meaning "one's own" and perception) is the sense of the relative position of neighbouring parts of the body. Unlike the six exteroceptive senses (sight, taste, smell, touch, hearing, and balance) by which we perceive the outside world, and interoceptive senses, by which we perceive the pain and the stretching of internal organs, proprioception is a third distinct sensory modality that provides feedback solely on the status of the body internally. It is the sense that indicates whether the body is moving with required effort, as well as where the various parts of the body are located in relation to each other.

My inner sense of proprioception is somewhat compromised, because my inner ear sense of balance signal to the brain are poorly received, if at all. This give me some advantage in that I do no get dizzy -- but neither can I sense that I am bending over the same way most do it. I get visual cues from seeing the world around me, and can receive proprioception signals that tell me how my ankle and hip joints are situated with respect to the rest of my body. The rest is just some kind of magic. It works much better with all the senses firing together, let me assure you. I stumble a lot, because I do not effectively sense where my feet end up, or I forget inbetween steps. It is just another challenge I deal with.

Other sensory impairment continues as before, with some modifications. I can feel some touch on the bottoms of my feet now, but not much on the top. The left foot always sends pins-and-needles sensation like it is asleep. My hands are fully sensitive now most of the time, which is a great relief. My midsection and thighs continue to feel like sheathed in leather.

A slight diminishing in the degree of proprioception sensitivity in my hips has worried me. Sometimes it feels like before, when I could not stand up with my eyes shut. I talked to the neurologist about it last week, and he checked what he could, but it is a difficult issue to address objectively, and I may be stressing about not much. Anyway, it is something I will be paying close attention to over the next few months. Could be indicative of new Shwanomma -- new tumor development -- or regrowth of the tumor on my spinal column.

We'll see...

Rehab progress 34

2009-06-06T05:30:00.000-07:00

Routine. Hard work.

This is what it comes down to.

I am trying to re-establish the last summer level of performance. Three miles in forty minutes on the treadmill.

Yesterday I made better than a half-mile in ten minutes, with very little exertion. I am making progress, slowly but surely.

When I can put on a mile in ten minutes, I will be back in pretty good form.

Utah Places: Bingham Canyon Mine

2009-05-20T20:22:00.000-07:00

The largest artificial hole in the earth, Bingham Canyon Mine is one of the wonders of the world, and a monument to industry. There are tours conducted on a regular basis. Some of the mining machinery is very impressive, but all is dwarfed in scale by the huge open pit excavation.

Links:
History.
Visitors Center

Utah Places: Butterfield Canyon

2009-05-20T19:56:00.000-07:00

Another monument to mans insatiable appetite for metal ore, and an indomitable will to dominate the earth. This view is the Bingham Canyon overlook, reachable by traversing the Butterfield Canyon Road from Herriman up to the saddle, then turning north for a further short distance.

Butterfield Canyon is a lovely glen in the sprawl and squalor of cities that have sprung up across the west of the Salt Lake Valley in the last thirty years. After many years of decrepitude, the canyon was the recipient of extensive reclamation efforts by its principal property owner, the Kennecot Corporation. The area is now a show place and a delight to the eye year-round.

Bikers and peddlers love the harsh grades and switchbacks. It makes a nice picnic drive for a weekend afternoon too.

Links:

Bikers
Bikers
4wd

Utah Places: Fivemile Pass

2009-05-20T17:52:00.000-07:00

BLM land is usually marginal as far as aesthetic value, but it is valuable for other intrinsics that are sometimes difficult to weight. The Pass area is one of those, unremarkable to the eye, but rich in history and culture.

Some links:
ATV Trails.
BLM Info- has link to a good map.

The BLM has given Fivemile Pass over to ATV use, and it shows. Prior to the ATV craze, the area was covered with mining claims, and that still is very much in evidence too. Someday, the whole mess will be cleaned up. Right now it looks like a ten thousand acre monument to wanton indulgence.

Trails crisscross the area indiscriminately leading everywhere and nowhere. Some leads can get you into trouble, like the one that looks like a thrilling leap over a deep ravine, but opens into a vertical mine shaft. Long ways down.

The steepest grade I ever drove the 4Runner on is to the north. A long hill that leads up to the ridge overlooking the Mercur Canyon mine and operations center. Climb it if you have the traction. I just made it. No problem for ATVs.

There are some spectacular high vistas, for those willing to climb. Snow lingers late this high -- don´t be surprised to find deeper drifts on the north shadowy spots into July.

Mineral mining was the big attraction in the Oquirrh Mountains to the north. For more than a hundred years copper has been mined and smelted. Plenty of other metals, like gold and silver, are also in rich supply. Try your luck high grading some rocks, you might strike the mother lode!

Rehab progress 33

2009-05-20T14:47:00.001-07:00

Routine. That is what the workouts are approaching, much to my relief.

I have not experienced any untoward episodes in weeks. Settling down do a steady pace, I can easily crank out a half mile on the treadmill. I´m going to step things up a bit, increase the tempo and the length of my stride to cover more ground, because I think the treadmill is the best return for time spent.

I´m also covering more ground at home, walking around the yard. On Saturday, we travelled to a prospective contracting job site, South Willow Canyon, in the Stansbury Range. Part of the road was barricaded to vehicle traffic, so I hobbled on up the trail for about a mile or two. When I returned, my dad was just making motions to stir from a log nap and come to search for me. It was a long walk, but I did it - and without falling down. Not bad for a handicapped guy.

Conference Address: Faith in Adversity

2009-05-19T07:02:00.000-07:00

Elder Rafael E.Pino of the Seventy testified of faith in adversity. He shared a number of heartbreaking incidents where faith in the Savior provided strength and comfort.

The Savior said:

"Therefore, whoso heareth these sayings of mine and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, who built his house upon a rock—

"And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not, for it was founded upon a rock.

"And every one that heareth these sayings of mine and doeth them not shall be likened unto a foolish man, who built his house upon the sand—

"And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell, and great was the fall of it" (3 Nephi 14: 24–27).

It is interesting to notice that the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew against both houses! Living the gospel does not mean that we will everlastingly escape adversity. Rather, it means that we will be prepared to face and endure adversity more confidently.

General Conference: Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ

2009-05-18T06:54:00.000-07:00

Elder Kevin W. Pearson of the Seventy bore testimony of his faith in Christ. He shared his witness of faith in the Savior that we can place our utmost assurance in, during these most difficult and trying times.

Elder Pearson stressed that we need to teach these principles to our children. True faith compels action and obedience to the Lord´s commandments.

Faith and fear cannot coexist. One gives way to the other. The simple fact is we all need to constantly build faith and overcome sources of destructive disbelief. Consider it this way: our net usable faith is what we have left to exercise after we subtract our sources of doubt and disbelief. You might ask yourself this question: “Is my own net faith positive or negative?” If your faith exceeds your doubt and disbelief, the answer is likely positive. If you allow doubt and disbelief to control you, the answer might be negative.

We do have a choice. We get what we focus on consistently. Because there is an opposition in all things, there are forces that erode our faith. Some are the result of Satan’s direct influence. But for others, we have no one but ourselves to blame. These stem from personal tendencies, attitudes, and habits we can learn to change. I will refer to these influences as the “Six Destructive Ds.” As I do, consider their influence on you or your children.

1. Doubt
not a principle of the gospel.
does not come from the Light of Christ
does not come from the influence of the Holy Ghost.
negative emotion related to fear.
comes from a lack of confidence in one’s self or abilities.
inconsistent with our divine identity as children of God.

2. Discouragement
comes from missed expectations.
leads to lower expectations.
decreased effort.
weakened desire.
greater difficulty feeling and following the Spirit.

3. Distraction
lack of focus.
eliminates the very focus the eye of faith requires.
Satan’s most effective tools.
bad habits.

4. Lack of diligence,
reduced commitment to remain true and faithful and to carry on through despite hardship and disappointment. Disappointment is an inevitable part of life, but it need not lead to doubt, discouragement, distraction, or lack of diligence.

If not reversed, this path ultimately leads to
5. Disobedience, which undermines the very basis of faith. So often the result is disbelief, the conscious or unconscious refusal to believe.

The scriptures describe
6. Disbelief as the state of having chosen to harden one’s heart. It is to be past feeling.

These Six Destructive Ds—doubt, discouragement, distraction, lack of diligence, disobedience, and disbelief—all erode and destroy our faith. We can choose to avoid and overcome them.

Utah Places: Squaw Peak to Hobble Creek

2009-05-15T19:51:00.000-07:00

The vistas are as picturesque as the names. Squaw Peak trail starts up from Provo Canyon and winds along the mountainside, sometimes with breathtaking views of the valley below. It eventually ends up climbing over the shoulder of Hobble Creek Canyon, descending into the Hobble Creek area through muddy farm roads. Much of the road is suited for 4wd light, but if the weather is bad, there may be deep mud holes that can swallow a station wagon.

Makes for a delightful afternoon drive if the weather is good.

Lots of little informal camping-type spots, as well as some formally maintained campgrounds that never much interested me. There is rock that is good enough to challenge any climber around several of the precipitous canyon walls that slice thier way up from Utah Valley, if you are into that sort of thing. June and July wild flowers in great profusion. Every range of ecosystem from chaparal to alpine, and everything in between. Lots of wide-open meadow lands and green grasses in summer season.

Worth a trip.

Utah Places: Pittsburgh Lake

2009-05-15T11:36:00.001-07:00

Why would you want any place else? There is serenity and freedom in this place -- no noisy neighbors to play their rock music too loud. Just fluffy white clouds drifting by, reflected in the untroubled placid waters collected so recently from fresh snowmelt.

Access to Pittsburg Lake basin by crossing the American Fork above Tibble Fork Reservoir. There is an old mining trail that is fairly decent for 4wd or ATV, but don´t try this without serious consideration about getting back. Take along spares, ćuz you might use them.

The 4-Runner makes it easy, but I´m not sure about Jeep types. Might like lockers -- tends to be slippery muddy in spots. If you´re boots-on-the-ground, thats okay too. It is a nice hike. As you can see from the photo, typical Wasatch unspoiled beauty.

Don´t forget some DEET. Some things come at a price. Lots of mosquitos.

Utah Places: Timpanogos Cave

2009-05-15T08:50:00.000-07:00

Timpanogos Cave is one place that everyone should visit, at least once. The hike to get there is a short but strenuous one. Almost anyone that can walk should be able to make the trek. It is worth the exertion.

There are a lot of good links for further info...

National Park Service
Wikipedia

Utah Places: Timpanogos Front End

2009-05-15T07:33:00.000-07:00

I´m sure most all resident of Utah have witnessed the awesome transformation. Mount Timpnogos is colored with the fiery blaze of sunset as the orange ball disappears behind the Oquirrh Mountains in the west. The backdrop of dramatic scenery is nearly wasted on hoardes of hurrying Wasatch Front residents, packed onto I-15, jamming up the freeway during rush hour. Instead of enjoying the beauty, too many are cultivating their hypertension and considering another road-rage incident on the public highway.

Up close and personal, the south and west slopes of Timp are not nearly as well developed as the traditional Mutual Dell or Timpanooke or Aspen Grove on the east or north. As it happens, there are roads, but they are not for the timid. Best suited for 4wd or ATV. Many trails lead out from the Pleasant Grove and Orem high bench areas. The lower down regions tend to be clogged with houses, but after you get by them, you´re on your own. If you venture out, you will discover there are many false leads, as well. Lots if rugged individualists have left their mark here. As a result, there are trails through the thick chapparal that lead everywhere and nowhere. Pick your course with some judicious care, and be prepared to backtrack.

Not that the lowland parks are bad. They serve their purpose well, and get lots of use. But to those few to whom the freedom of the hills beckons..

In several canyons on the west face of Timp, I have picked up many fossil specimens. Some of the canyons that run down the west face are apparently eroded through the layers of geological time, exposing the fossilized wonders of the past that were witnessed before the slopes were raised high. I won´t tell exactly where -- that would be giving away too much. But for the ambitious, they can be found, in great variety and profusion.

There is a mountain road that affords access to higher ground, accesible through Timponooke Campground. It is a long drive that wind around the shoulder of the mountain, eventually ending up in meadows above Pleasant Grove. A very nice place for a picnic, or just look at the wild flowers and enjoy the view. The view is unparalleled.

General Conference: Our Father’s Plan—Big Enough for All His Children

2009-05-14T06:03:00.000-07:00

Elder Quentin L. Cook of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles teaches in his conference address that even though our journey may be fraught with tribulation, the destination is truly glorious.

The doctrine of most churches is at odds with revealed truth, and this makes it difficult for some to accept. This should not come as a surprise.

My principal concern is for the honorable people on the earth who are open to religious faith but have been discouraged or confused by incorrect doctrine. For instance, with respect to the doctrine that revelation still exists, some very good people have been confident that the Church could not be true because they have been taught, and therefore believe, that the heavens are closed and there will be no additional revelation, no scripture, and no pronouncements from heaven. Let me emphasize that this widely held belief is not scriptural, but it is a stumbling block to some.

In Joseph Smith´s time, the vast majority of churches taught that the Savior’s Atonement would not bring about the salvation of most of mankind. The common precept was that a few would be saved and the overwhelming majority would be doomed to endless tortures of the most awful and unspeakable intensity. The doctrine revealed to the Prophet Joseph a plan of salvation that is applicable to all, including those who do not hear of Christ in this life, children who die before the age of accountability, and those who have no understanding.

At death, righteous spirits live in a temporary state called paradise. Alma the Younger teaches us that paradise is ¨a state of rest, a state of peace, where the righteous shall rest from all their troubles and from all care, and sorrow.”

The unrighteous spirits dwell in spirit prison. It is described as an awful place, a dark place where those fearful of the “indignation of the wrath of God” shall remain until the resurrection.

Because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, all spirits blessed by birth will ultimately be resurrected, spirit and body reunited, and inherit kingdoms of glory that are superior to our existence here on earth.

At the resurrection, the spirit prison or hell will deliver up its captive spirits. Jesus came into the world “to be crucified for the world, and to bear the sins of the world, and to sanctify the world, and to cleanse it from all unrighteousness.”

The Savior said, “Let not your heart be troubled. . . . In my Father’s house are many mansions. . . . I go to prepare a place for you.” A succinct summary is provided in the book of Moses: “For behold, this is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.”

A loving Father has provided a comprehensive and compassionate plan for His children “that saves the living, redeems the dead, rescues the damned, and glorifies all who repent¨. Even though our journey may be fraught with tribulation, the destination is truly glorious.

General Conference: Learning the Lessons of the Past

2009-05-13T09:24:00.000-07:00

Covering a topic that has been rehashed so many times before, Elder M. Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles makes the topic ring with new vitality as he reminds us in his conference address that we live in perilous times. He quotes the aphorism, ¨Those who do not remember the past are doomed to repeat it.”

He refers to a number of examples of cyclical behavior, from scriptural accounts in particular. There is a consistent theme of blessing and prosperity, then reoccurring periods of apostasy and spiritual darkness, followed by repentance and restoration of the Lord´s grace and blessings.

Our Heavenly Father loves all of His children, and He wants them all to have the blessings of the gospel in their lives. Spiritual light is not lost because God turns His back on His children. Rather, spiritual darkness results when His children turn their collective backs on Him. It is a natural consequence of bad choices made by individuals, communities, countries, and entire civilizations. This has been proven again and again throughout the course of time.

One of the most important lessons we learn from this is that actions do have consequences, for good or bad, individually and collectively. We learn to avoid the mistakes of the past by studying the lessons of history and culture. Herein lies the accumulated wisdom of past generations. Through their learning we can leverage and avoid some of the pitfalls of these perilous times.

We live in an era when the boundaries of good taste and public decency are being pushed to the point where there are no boundaries at all. The commandments of God have taken a beating in the vacillating marketplace of ideas that absolutely rejects the notion of right and wrong. Certain factions of society seem generally mistrustful of anyone who chooses to live according to religious belief. And when people of faith attempt to warn others of the possible consequences of their sinful choices, they are scoffed at and ridiculed, and their most sacred rites and cherished values are publicly mocked.

Elder Ballard counsels for each of us to strive to gain a faith and testimony of our own. His advice is that testimony is built the same way it has always been, and there are no technological shortcuts, despite all the gadgets that have proliferated these days.

And how do you get such a testimony? Well, there’s no new technology for that, nor will there ever be. You cannot do a Google search to gain a testimony. You can’t text message faith. You gain a vibrant, life-changing testimony today the same way it has always been done. The process hasn’t been changed. It comes through desire, study, prayer, obedience, and service. That is why the teachings of prophets and apostles, past and present, are as relevant to your life today as they ever have been.

Utah Places: South Slope of the Uinta

2009-05-12T14:30:00.000-07:00

Everything unique and beautiful about Ashley National Forest is characterized by this blossom. Though Sego Lillies (Chalocortus nutallii) are found throughout the west, Utah claims this one as the state flower, and for good reason. A thing of beauty and the greatest practical utility, these flowers dot the ground in season in the middle elevations. I look for them to be heaviest in sparsely covered grasslands and sagebrush areas.

Where the Sego blooms in great profusion, there look for the freedom of the hills. That ever-elusive quality may be hard to find and difficult to keep, but it is always worth finding.

Million Dollar Baby

2009-05-12T14:12:00.001-07:00

I watched this film today and it left disturbing questions unanswered.

The film is about the humane touch of boxing in the midst of blood and brutality. Morgan Freeman plays a part in the film, and sometimes narrates in the background, as if telling the story through recollections of the past. Ultimately, the plot comes down to euthanasia. Clint Eastwood finally decides that life on a respirator is not what his star boxer would want, and he pulls the plug on her, and she dies. End of story.

Very sad.

Very real scenario for me to face personally.

What is the worth of a life that is artificially supported? I have already asked myself that question, many times. What you decide is up to you. But it may be something any of us could face, any day. Impossible to predict.

What protection do we have against being held captive against our own wishes by medical technology?

On the one hand, there are artificial breathing apparatus, intubation devices, so-called heroic measures.

And on the other, there are living wills, DNR orders, and bureaucratic measures.

Nothing is certain...

Rehab progress 32

2009-05-12T10:39:00.001-07:00

What is commonplace about establishing a routine when nothing is routine? I find myself struggling in another round of rehabilitation effort, which is discouraging. To keep starting over again at a point I have surpassed before makes it all seem somewhat futile. Imagine learning the alphabet again and again, only to forget and be forced to start training over again at some fundamental that you know very well was easily surpassed in previous performances.

But I can´t know that. If I had spent the time idly laying around, I have no idea what level of performance my mental or physical state would be, to say nothing of other considerations. Exertion is good for the soul, if no other benefits accrue. I suppose that must be as true in my case as it is for any other. I hold myself as unremarkable in every respect.

This week in PT sessions, I am working to maintain the half-mile in ten minute pace on the treadmill and 2 miles in ten minutes on the stationary bike. That is about the same level I could reach last March and September. Setbacks have pushed me back, but I am determined that keeping on is the only course for me. I will not quit. Ultimately I want to set the pace to cover 3 miles in 40 minutes on the treadmill, which is where I was last July and October. I´ll keep at it.

The norm for me seems to be to have another brain attack every six to twelve weeks. They vary in severity. Clearly, I will keep having them, unless something changes in the conditions that are causing them. And that is not likely. The real questions I am left with: Exactly when the next will occur, and how severe will it be? It seems only time -- and heaven -- can answer.

Toxic Shock?

2009-05-12T08:33:00.001-07:00

Toxic Shock Syndrome.... as well as other kinds of horrific shock!

Darrin proceeded to collapse after the grad ceremony, and has been in the hospital since he had a black-out episode at home, shortly thereafter.

He has a skin rash and fever, but the doctors were not too certain what to make of it. The initial diagnosis was scarlatina, which generally responds pretty well to certain antibiotic treatments. Becky suggests that it sounds more like toxic shock symptoms. Apparently, either type more or less directly results from some kind of systemic strep or staph bacterial infection. The specific treatment may depend on how testing shows that cultures respond to specific anibiotoics. As the case may be, I´m certain his attending knows more than I do about what Darrin might be suffering from.

Anyway, after initial stabilization, they tranferred him from Castle Valley in Price to Utah Valley in Provo. He has a medical team of doctors and nurses in attendance, and if they should miss a beat, Ruth is there to catch them. Castle Valley is an adequate facility, but the resources are limited there. UVRMC is a better place for critical care, and the staff will be sure that Darrin gets the care he needs now.

Our most fervent prayers and best wishes to Darrin and family. I am sorrowful when I know that any suffer, and I know this is a trying time for them.

Darrin,

Please get well soon, and recover fully. Your family needs you, here and now, all of us.

Physiology 101

2009-05-05T16:55:00.000-07:00

In physiology, medicine, and anatomy, muscle tone (aka residual muscle tension or tonus) is the continuous and passive partial contraction of the muscles. It helps maintain posture, and it declines during REM sleep. It is not to be confused with the concept of toning in physical exercise.

Unconscious nerve impulses maintain the muscles in a partially contracted state. If a sudden pull or stretch occurs, the body responds by automatically increasing the muscle's tension, a reflex which helps guard against danger as well as helping to maintain balance.

The presence of near-continuous innervation makes it clear that tonus describes a "default" or "steady state" condition. There is, for the most part, no actual "rest state" insofar as activation is concerned.

In terms of skeletal muscle, both the extensor and flexor muscles, under normal enervation maintain a constant tone while "at rest" that maintains a normal posture.

Cardiac muscle and smooth muscle, although not directly connected to the skeleton, also have tonus in the sense that although their contractions are not matched with those of antagonist muscles; their non-contractive state is characterized by (sometimes random) enervation.

Physical disorders can result in abnormally low (hypotonia) or high (hypertonia) muscle tone. Another form of hypertonia is Paratonia, which is associated with dementia.

Paratonia or gegenhalten is classified as a form of hypertonia with an involuntary variable resistance (i.e reduced ability of a muscle to stretch) during passive movement (i.e a movement without effort). The disease develops during a period of dementia and the degree of effect is dependent upon the disease's progress. Paratonia was classified very recently by experts, and is unrelated to the much more typical spasticity associated with spastic diplegia and simlilar forms of cerebral palsy.

Clasp-knife response refers to a stretch reflex with a rapid decrease in resistance when attempting to flex a joint, usually during a neurological examination. It is one of the characteristic responses of a upper motor neuron lesion.

It gets its name from the resemblance between the motion of the limb and the sudden closing of a claspknife after sufficient pressure is applied.

Although seemingly a stretch reflex when flexing a joint, force from the muscle during the attempt to flex a joint is actually thought to be caused by the tendon reflex of the antagonistic muscle of that joint, which is an extensor muscle that becomes stretched. In upper motor neuron lesions, muscle tonus may increase and resistance of muscle to stretch increases. However, if sufficient force is applied, limb resistance suddenly decreases.

Neurology 102

2009-05-05T11:46:00.001-07:00

A somatic reflex arc is one in which there is the simplest possible arrangement of elements to permit a response to stimuli, and in which the final element in the chain is skeletal muscle. In the crude sketch given here, you see the basic elements of this system. 1 is some sensory transducer in the periphery, for example, a Pacinian corpuscle or other tactile sensor in the skin. Shown here in blue is 2, the pseudo-unipolar sensory neuron in the circuit. Its soma is physically located in a craniospinal ganglion (pictured here as a dorsal root ganglion, but it could also be on a cranial nerve). Drawn in black is 3, an interconnector neuron, whose soma is found in the CNS. Drawn in red, 4 is a motor neuron whose soma is in the ventral horn of the gray H of the spinal cord. The last element involved is 5, the effector organ, which in the case of this type of arc, will always be skeletal muscle.

Here's how the system works: something impinges on the transducer, which causes the afferent fiber of the pseudo-unipolar sensory neuron to fire. That signal is transmitted via its efferent fiber into the CNS, specifically into a synapse with an interconnector neuron in the dorsal horn of the gray H. That neuron then sends a signal to a synapse with the motor neuron in the ventral horn. The afferent motor fiber (axon) of the motor neuron—which may actually be several meters in length—leaves the CNS and terminates at a motor end plate on some myofiber. When it fires it initiates contraction of 5.

Notice that this loop is completely independent; it's not necessary to have CNS involvement beyond the "relay" at the interconnector neuron. Let's say you inadvertently put your hand on a hot stove burner. You will of course immediately remove it, and in doing so you are making use of this type of arc, bypassing conscious thought. In fact, the sensation of uncomfortable heat makes it to the CNS after the motor response to withdraw your hand is initiated. In other words, you move your hand away before you "know why" you're doing it. Of course, it's possible to override this loop with direct CNS input. As is always true, the Brain is The Boss. If you really, really want to, it's possible to hold your hand on that hot burner, ignoring the somatic reflex. Some people have done things like this, but most of us haven't got that level of willpower.

The doctor is testing your somatic reflex arc when he taps your knee with a rubber mallet and studies the knee-jerk reaction. The impulse of the hammer tap travels to the spinal cord and back to the effector muscle, in a reactive arc. Diagnostics can be derived from observing the speed and tone of the reaction.

Amateur Pshrink V

2009-05-05T10:17:00.000-07:00

I am pretty partial to this disorder too. I feel just like this lady looks in the picture, much of the time. Only doing other things distracts me from sometimes tearing my hair out with tears of despair and hopelessness.

I like all of the DSM disorders, as a matter of fact. I am thinking of collecting them, like baseball cards...

Somatoform disorder (also known as Briquet's syndrome) is a psychological disorder characterized by physical symptoms that mimic disease or injury for which there is no identifiable physical cause or physical symptoms such as pain, nausea, depression, and dizziness. Somatoform disorder is a condition in which the physical pain and symptoms a person feels are related to psychological factors. These symptoms can not be traced to a specific physical cause. In people who have Somatoform disorder, medical test results are either normal or don't explain the person's symptoms. People who have this disorder may undergo several medical evaluations and tests to be sure that they do not have an illness related to a physical cause or central lesion. Patients with this disorder often become very worried about their health because the doctors are unable to find a cause for their health problems. Their symptoms are similar to the symptoms of other illnesses and may last for several years. People who have Somatoform disorder are not faking their symptoms. The pain that they feel is real, and they feel what they say they are feeling.

A person faking their symptoms may have factitious disorder (an unknown psychological cause for making oneself sick) or malingering (making oneself sick for personal or monetary gain; i.e. disability, insurance, etc). This is not at all related to the Somatoform Disorder, however.

A diagnosis of a Somatoform disorder implies that psychological factors are a large contributor to the symptoms' onset, severity and duration. It is important to note that Somatoform disorders are not the result of conscious malingering or factitious disorders.
The Somatoform disorders recognized by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders of the American Psychiatric Association are:

Conversion disorder
Somatization disorder
Hypochondriasis
Body dysmorphic disorder
Pain disorder
Undifferentiated somatoform disorder - only one unexplained symptom is required for at least 6 months.

Included among these disorders are false pregnancy, psychogenic urinary retention, and mass psychogenic illness (so-called mass hysteria).

Somatoform disorder NOS

Additional proposed somatoform disorders are:

Abridged somatization disorder - at least 4 unexplained somatic complaints in men and 6 in women
Multisomatoform disorder - at least 3 unexplained somatic complaints from the PRIME-MD scale for at least 2 years of active symptoms

These disorders have been proposed because the recognized somatoform disorders are either too restrictive or too broad. In a study of 119 primary care patients, the following prevalences were found:

Somatization disorder - 1%
Abridged somatization disorder - 6%
Multisomatoform disorder - 24%
Undifferentiated somatoform disorder - 79%

In my case, I suspect false pregnancy would be tough to carry out, and right now I´d settle for a reasonable duration of urinary retention prior to wetting my diapers.

But in other words, we can´t explain what is wrong, but we gotta tell the insurance company something, so we made up this fancy title that means ¨we don´t know what is wrong, but this fella is REAALLY SICK!¨

Amateur Pshrink IV

2009-05-05T09:53:00.000-07:00

Dr. Moench drew this cartoon on a napkin, when my parents came to get me from the nut hatch at LDS Hospital many years ago. This is one diagnosis from the DSM that is pretty straight-forward.

Major depressive disorder (also known as clinical depression, major depression, unipolar depression, or unipolar disorder) is a mental disorder characterized by an all-encompassing low mood accompanied by low self-esteem, and loss of interest or pleasure in normally enjoyable activities. The term "major depressive disorder" was selected by the American Psychiatric Association to designate this symptom cluster as a mood disorder in the 1980 version of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-III) classification, and has become widely used since. The general term depression is often used to describe the disorder, but as it is also used to describe a more temporarily depressed state of mind, more precise terminology is preferred for the disorder in clinical and research use. Major depression is a disabling condition which adversely affects a person's family, work or school life, sleeping and eating habits, and general health. In the United States, approximately 3.4% of people with major depression commit suicide, and up to 60% of all people who commit suicide have depression or another mood disorder.

The diagnosis of major depressive disorder is based on the patient's self-reported experiences, behavior reported by relatives or friends, and a mental status exam. There is no laboratory test for major depression, although physicians generally request tests for physical conditions that may cause similar symptoms. The most common time of onset is between the ages of 30 and 40 years, with a later peak between 50 and 60 years. Major depression is reported about twice as frequently in women as in men, although men are at higher risk for suicide.

Most patients are treated in the community with antidepressant medication and some with psychotherapy or counseling. Hospitalization may be necessary in cases with associated self-neglect or a significant risk of harm to self or others. A minority are treated with electroconvulsive therapy (ECT), under a short-acting general anaesthetic. The course of the disorder varies widely, from one episode lasting months to a lifelong disorder with recurrent major depressive episodes. Depressed individuals have shorter life expectancies than those without depression, in part because of greater susceptibility to medical illnesses. Current and former patients may be stigmatized.

The understanding of the nature and causes of depression has evolved over the centuries, though many aspects of depression remain incompletely understood and are the subject of discussion and research. Psychological, psycho-social, evolutionary and biological causes have been proposed. Psychological treatments are based on theories of personality, interpersonal communication, and learning theory. Most biological theories focus on the monoamine chemicals serotonin, norepinephrine, and dopamine that are naturally present in the brain and assist communication between nerve cells. Monoamines have been implicated in depression, and most antidepressants work to increase the active levels of at least one.

Major depression is a serious illness that affects a person's family, work or school life, sleeping and eating habits, and general health. Its impact on functioning and well-being has been equated to that of chronic medical conditions such as diabetes.

A person suffering a major depressive episode usually exhibits a very low mood that pervades all aspects of life and an inability to experience pleasure in activities that formerly were enjoyed. Depressed people may be preoccupied with, or ruminate over, thoughts and feelings of worthlessness, inappropriate guilt or regret, helplessness, hopelessness, and self hatred. Other symptoms include poor concentration and memory, withdrawal from social situations and activities, reduced sex drive, and thoughts of death or suicide. Insomnia is common: in the typical pattern, a person wakes very early and is unable to get back to sleep. Hypersomnia, or oversleeping, is less common. Appetite often decreases, with resulting weight loss, although increased appetite and weight gain occasionally occur. The person may report multiple physical symptoms such as fatigue, headaches, or digestive problems; physical complaints are the most common presenting problem in developing countries according to the World Health Organization's criteria of depression. Family and friends may notice that the person's behavior is either agitated or lethargic. Older depressed persons may have cognitive symptoms of recent onset, such as forgetfulness, and a more noticeable slowing of movements. In severe cases, depressed people may have symptoms of psychosis such as delusions or, less commonly, hallucinations, usually of an unpleasant nature.
Depression is a major cause of morbidity worldwide. Lifetime prevalence varies widely, from 3% in Japan to 17% in the US. In most countries the number of people who would suffer from depression during their lives falls within an 8–12% range. In North America the probability of having a major depressive episode within a year-long period is 3–5% for males and 8–10% for females. Population studies have consistently shown major depression to be about twice as common in women as in men, although it is unclear why this is so, and whether factors unaccounted for are contributing to this. The relative increase in occurrence is related to pubertal development rather than chronological age, reaches adult ratios between the ages of 15 and 18, and appears associated with psychosocial more than hormonal factors.

People are most likely to suffer their first depressive episode between the ages of 30 and 40, and there is a second, smaller peak of incidence between ages 50 and 60.The risk of major depression is increased with neurological conditions such as stroke, Parkinson's disease, or multiple sclerosis and during the first year after childbirth. It is also more common after cardiovascular illnesses, and is related more to a poor outcome than to a better one. Studies conflict on the prevalence of depression in the elderly, but most data suggest there is a reduction in this age group.

Depression is often associated with unemployment and poverty. Major depression is currently the leading cause of disease burden in North America and other high-income countries, and the fourth-leading cause worldwide. In the year 2030, it is predicted to be the second-leading cause of disease burden worldwide after HIV, according to the World Health Organization. Delay or failure in seeking treatment after relapse, and the failure of health professionals to provide treatment, are two barriers to reducing disability.

The World Health Organization updated its report The global burden of disease in 2004. Their "Years Lost due to Disability", or YLD, is a measurement of the equivalent years of healthy life lost through time spent in states of less than full health, and they state that in all regions, "neuropsychiatric conditions are the most important causes of disability, accounting for around one third of YLD among adults aged 15 and over." Specifically, unipolar depressive disorders are the leading cause in both males and females, in high-income countries and in low- and middle-income countries.

Neurology 101

2009-04-29T18:19:00.000-07:00

Some things here that I did not know. Cells in the brain that transmit nerve impulses are mostly white-colored, because their constituents are mainly lipids or fatty acid chains that form the insulating myelin. The parts of the brain that process information are grey-colored cells. They contain more proteins than the white cells.

From the MRI scans, my brain has an abnormally high amount of white tissue present. Nobody offered to explain why -- but everyone who made an attempt to analyze the pictures made this observation.

So what? I don´t know. Still learning...


Schwannoma Classification and external resources

A schwannoma, also known as a neurilemmoma is a benign nerve sheath tumor composed of Schwann cells, which normally produce the insulating myelin sheath covering peripheral nerves.

That is what was growing on my spinal cord.

Named after the German physiologist Theodor Schwann, Schwann cells (also referred to as neurolemnocytes) are a variety of glial cell that keep peripheral nerve fibres (both myelinated and unmyelinated) alive. In myelinated axons, Schwann cells form the myelin sheath (see below). The sheath is not continuous. Individual myelinating Schwann cells cover about 100 micrometre of an axon. The end result is a string of Schwann cells along the length of the axon, much like a string of sausages. The gaps between adjacent Schwann cells are called the nodes of Ranvier. The vertebrate nervous system relies on the myelin sheath for insulation and as a method of decreasing membrane capacitance in the axon. The action potential jumps from node to node, in a process called saltatory conduction, which can increase conduction velocity up to X10, without an increase in axonal diameter. In this sense, Schwann cells are the peripheral nervous system's analogues of the central nervous system oligodendrocytes. However, unlike oligodendrocytes, each myelinating Schwann cell provides insulation to only one axon (see image). This arrangement permits saltatory conduction of action potentials with repropagation at the Nodes of Ranvier, the gaps between myelinated segments. In this way, myelination greatly increases speed of conduction and saves energy ^.

Schwannomas are very homogeneous tumors, consisting only of Schwann cells. The tumor cells always stay on the outside of the nerve, but the tumor itself may either push the nerve aside and/or up against a bony structure, thereby causing damage.

Schwann cell

Amateur Pshrink III

2009-04-29T17:10:00.001-07:00

This one sounds like fun too! I wanna get all of em!

Better than collecting old comic books!

Münchausen syndrome is a psychiatric disorder in which those affected feign disease, illness, or psychological trauma in order to draw attention or sympathy to themselves. It is in a class of disorders known as factitious disorders which involve "illnesses" whose symptoms are either self-induced or falsified by the patient. It is also sometimes known as hospital addiction syndrome.
In Münchausen syndrome, the affected person exaggerates or creates symptoms of illnesses in themselves or their child/children in order to gain investigation, treatment, attention, sympathy, and comfort from medical personnel. In some extremes, people suffering from Münchausen's Syndrome are highly knowledgeable about the practice of medicine, and are able to produce symptoms that result in multiple unnecessary operations. For example, they may inject a vein with infected material, causing widespread infection of unknown origin, and as a result cause lengthy and costly medical analysis and prolonged hospital stay. The role of "patient" is a familiar and comforting one, and it fills a psychological need in people with Münchausen's. It is distinct from hypochondriasis in that patients with Münchausen syndrome are aware that they are exaggerating, whereas sufferers of hypochondriasis believe they actually have a disease.
In 1951, Richard Asher was the first to describe a pattern of self-harm, where individuals fabricated histories, signs, and symptoms of illness. Remembering Baron Münchausen, Asher named this condition Münchausen's Syndrome in his article in The Lancet in February 1951, quoted in his obituary in the British Medical Journal:

"Here is described a common syndrome which most doctors have seen, but about which little has been written. Like the famous Baron von Münchausen, the persons affected have always travelled widely; and their stories, like those attributed to him, are both dramatic and untruthful. Accordingly the syndrome is respectfully dedicated to the Baron, and named after him."

—British Medical Journal, R.A.J. Asher, M.D., F.R.C.P.

Originally, this term was used for all factitious disorders. Now, however, there is considered to be a wide range of factitious disorders, and the diagnosis of "Münchausen syndrome" is reserved for the most severe form, where the simulation of disease is the central activity of the affected person's life.

Risk factors for developing Münchausen syndrome include childhood traumas, and growing up with caretakers who, through illness or emotional problems, were unavailable.

Medical professionals suspecting Münchausen's in a patient should first rule out the possibility that the patient does indeed have a disease state, but it is in an early stage and not yet clinically detectable. Providers need to acknowledge that there is uncertainty in treating suspected Münchausen patients, so that real diseases are not under treated. Then they should take a careful patient history, and seek medical records, to look for early deprivation, childhood abuse, mental illness.

Medical professionals should avoid surgical and diagnostic procedures, if they do not seem absolutely warranted – this may well anger the Münchausen patient who seeks out such procedures and attention. At the same time, providers should attempt to form an alliance with the patients, identifying with the emotional pain they may have suffered leading to this behavior.

Medical providers should consider working with mental health specialists to help treat the underlying mood or disorder and well as to avoid countertransference, Therapeutic and medical treatment should center on the underlying psychiatric disorder: a mood disorder, an anxiety disorder or borderline personality disorder. The patient's prognosis depends upon the category under which the underlying disorder falls; depression and anxiety, for example, generally respond well to medication and/or cognitive behavioral therapy, whereas borderline personality disorder, like all personality disorders, is presumed to be pervasive and more stable over time ^[5], thus offers the worst prognosis.

If a patient is at risk to himself or herself, inpatient psychiatric hospitalization should be initiated.

Illnesses and conditions commonly feigned by Münchausen patients

Acid reflux
AIDS
Anemia
Anxiety disorder
Arthritis
Back pain
Bipolar disorder (manic depression)
Cancer
Cushing's Syndrome
Depression
Dissociative identity disorder
Eating Disorders
Fibromyalgia
Heart disease, heart attack
Immunodeficiency
Infection
Joint pain
Lupus
Muscle pain
Migraines
Kidney disease
Post-traumatic stress disorder
Seizures
Sexual abuse
Spousal abuse
Suicidal ideation or suicide attempt

May have multiple scars on abdomen due to repeated "emergency" operations

Note that many of these conditions do not have clearly observable or diagnostic symptoms.

See also

Fabricated or induced illness, also known as Münchausen Syndrome by Proxy
Histrionic personality disorder
Munchausen by Internet
Mythomania
Psychosomatic illness

Amateur Pshrink II

2009-04-29T16:42:00.000-07:00

I like this one too. Can I be both? Huh, can I, can I ?

Histrionic personality disorder (HPD) is defined by the American Psychiatric Association as a personality disorder characterized by a pattern of excessive emotionality and attention-seeking, including an excessive need for approval and inappropriate seductiveness, usually beginning in early adulthood. These individuals are lively, dramatic, enthusiastic, and flirtatious. They may be inappropriately sexually provocative, express strong emotions with an impressionistic style, and be easily influenced by others.

People with this disorder are usually able to function at a high level and can be successful socially and professionally. People with histrionic personality disorder usually have good social skills, but they tend to use these skills to manipulate other people and become the center of attention. Furthermore, histrionic personality disorder may affect a person's social or romantic relationships or their ability to cope with losses or failures. People with this disorder may seek treatment for depression when romantic relationships end, although this is by no means a feature exclusive to this disorder. They often fail to see their own personal situation realistically, instead tending to dramatize and exaggerate their difficulties. They may go through frequent job changes, as they become easily bored and have trouble dealing with frustration. Because they tend to crave novelty and excitement, they may place themselves in risky situations. All of these factors may lead to greater risk of developing depression.

The cause of this disorder is unknown, but childhood events such as deaths in the immediate family, divorce of parents and genetics may be involved. Histrionic Personality Disorder is more often diagnosed in women than men; men with some quite similar symptoms are often diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder.However, Psychiatrist Dr. Rhoda Hahn supposes that it may be more often diagnosed in women because attention-seeking and sexual forwardness are typically considered to be less socially acceptable for women than for men, and, as suggested by Jonathan Oore, a more efficient means of initial social advancement.

Little research has been conducted to determine the biological sources of this disorder. Psychoanalytic theories incriminate seductive and authoritarian attitudes by fathers of these patients.

The symptoms include:

* Constant seeking of reassurance or approval.
* Excessive dramatics with exaggerated displays of emotions.
* Excessive sensitivity to criticism or disapproval.
* Inappropriately seductive appearance or behavior.
* Excessive concern with physical appearance.
* A need to be the center of attention (self-centeredness).
* Low tolerance for frustration or delayed gratification.
* Rapidly shifting emotional states that may appear shallow to others.
* Opinions are easily influenced by other people, but difficult to back up with details.
* Tendency to believe that relationships are more intimate than they actually are.
* Making rash decisions.
* Threatening or attempting suicide

The person's appearance, behavior, and history, along with a psychological evaluation, are usually sufficient to establish the diagnosis. There is no test to confirm this diagnosis. Because the criteria are subjective, some people may be wrongly diagnosed as having the disorder while others with the disorder may not be diagnosed. Treatment is often prompted by depression associated with dissolved romantic relationships. Medication does little to affect this personality disorder, but may be helpful with symptoms such as depression. Psychotherapy may also be of benefit.

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, a widely used manual for diagnosing mental disorders, defines histrionic personality disorder as a pervasive pattern of excessive emotionality and attention seeking, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

1. Is uncomfortable in situations in which he or she is not the center of attention
2. Interaction with others is often characterized by inappropriate sexually seductive or provocative behavior
3. Displays rapidly shifting and shallow expression of emotions
4. Consistently uses physical appearance to draw attention to self
5. Has a style of speech that is excessively impressionistic and lacking in detail
6. Shows self-dramatization, theatricality, and exaggerated expression of emotion
7. Is suggestible, i.e., easily influenced by others or circumstances
8. Considers relationships to be more intimate than they actually are.

A mnemonic that can be used to remember the criteria for histrionic personality disorder is PRAISE ME:

* P - provocative (or seductive) behavior
* R - relationships, considered more intimate than they are
* A - attention, must be at center of
* I - influenced easily
* S - speech (style) - wants to impress, lacks detail
* E - emotional lability, shallowness

* M - make-up - physical appearance used to draw attention to self
* E - exaggerated emotions - theatrical

Histrionic Personality Disorder shares a divergent history with Conversion disorder and Somatization Disorder. Historically, they are linked to the ancient notion of hysteria, or "wandering womb." (Note, however, that according to the Online Etymology Dictionary, the word "histrionic" derives not from the Greek hystera, but from the Latin histrionicus, "pertaining to an actor.") Ancient Greeks thought that excessive emotionality in women was caused by a displaced uterus and sexual discontent. Christian ascetics during the Middle Ages blamed women's mental problems on witchcraft, sexual hunger, moral weakness, and demonic possession. By the 19th century, medical explanations proposed a weakness of women's nervous system related to biological sex. Thus, "hysteria" reflected the stereotype for women as vulnerable, inferior, and emotionally unbalanced. The extent to which the definition of Histrionic Personality Disorder currently reflects gender bias remains the subject of a controversy.

"Hysteria" differentiated into conversion hysteria (later to become Conversion disorder) and hysterical personality (later to become Histrionic personality disorder) in the psychoanalytic literature as well as with the writings of Kraepelin, Schneider, and others. Sigmund Freud wrote primarily about conversion hysteria. Wilhelm Reich wrote about hysteria as a set of personality characteristics and differentiated conversion hysteria as a transient disorder from hysterical character. These early conceptualizations of both kinds of hysteria carried notions of women's deficiency due to penis envy and feelings of castration. Paul Chodoff has written about the ways in which these diagnoses paralleled the misogynistic sentiment of the times.

The concept of hysterical personality was well developed by the mid-20th century and strongly resembled the current definition of Histrionic Personality Disorder. The first DSM featured a symptom-based category, "hysteria" (conversion) and a personality-based category, "emotionally unstable personality." DSM-II distinguished between hysterical neurosis (conversion reaction and dissociative reaction) and hysterical (histrionic) personality. In DSM-III, the term Hysterical Personality changed to Histrionic Personality Disorder to emphasize the histrionic (derived from the Latin word histrio, or actor) behavior pattern and to reduce the confusion caused by the historical links of hysteria to conversion symptoms. The landmark case of Ruth E. helped to fully define and emphasize the characteristics of the current DSM-IV diagnostic. DSM-III-R attempted to reduce the overlap between Histrionic Personality Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder by dropping three overlapping criteria and adding two criteria that emphasized histrionicity. DSM-IV dropped two more criteria that did not appear to contribute to the consistency of the diagnosis, according to research done by Bruce Pfohl.

Associated features may include egocentricity, self-indulgence, continuous longing for appreciation, feelings that are easily hurt, and persistent manipulative behaviour to achieve own needs.

Because of the lack of research support for work on personality disorders and long-term treatment with psychotherapy, the empirical findings on the treatment of these disorders remain based on the case report method and not on clinical trials. On the basis of case presentations, the treatment of choice is psychotherapy aimed at self-development through resolution of conflict and advancement of inhibited developmental lines. Group therapy is not recommended for those with HPD because it provides the person with an audience to play to (perform for), giving opportunity to perpetuate histrionic behavior.

* Family therapy
* Medications
* Alternative therapies

The HPD is highly reactive. If there is another major disorder present, such as delusional disorder, then emotional intensity will create anger, rage, abuse and distance in relationships.

It is important for the therapist and family members to monitor and record all situations that trigger the HPD so that the deep underlying overload of pain can be accessed and released for therapeutic change.

Amateur Pshrink

2009-04-29T12:21:00.000-07:00

Who fits this characterization?

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a personality disorder defined by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, the diagnostic classification system used in the United States, as "a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and a lack of empathy."

The narcissist is described as turning inward for gratification rather than depending on others, and as being excessively preoccupied with issues of personal adequacy, power, and prestige. Narcissistic personality disorder is closely linked to self-centeredness.

DSM-IV divides personality disorders into three clusters based on symptom similarities. This clustering categorizes the narcissistic personality disorder as a cluster B personality disorder, those personality disorders having in common an excessive sense of self importance. Also in that cluster are the borderline personality disorder, the histrionic personality disorder and the antisocial personality disorder.

A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

1. has a grandiose sense of self-importance
2. is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
3. believes that he or she is "special" and can only be understood by, or should associate with, people (or institutions) who are also "special" or of high status.
4. requires excessive admiration
5. has a sense of entitlement
6. is interpersonally exploitative
7. lacks empathy
8. is often envious of others or believes others are envious of him or her
9. shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes

The Healing Power of Forgiveness

2009-04-28T19:12:00.000-07:00

President James E. Faust, addressing a general conference:

Most of us need time to work through pain and loss. We can find all manner of reasons for postponing forgiveness. One of these reasons is waiting for the wrongdoers to repent before we forgive them. Yet such a delay causes us to forfeit the peace and happiness that could be ours. The folly of rehashing long-past hurts does not bring happiness.

Some hold grudges for a lifetime, unaware that courageously forgiving those who have wronged us is wholesome and therapeutic.

This is an easy principle to understand and apply -- to others. Not so easy to internalize and live by personally. I am still working on it, in some cases.

President Faust:

All of us suffer some injuries from experiences that seem to have no rhyme or reason. We cannot understand or explain them. We may never know why some things happen in this life. The reason for some of our suffering is known only to the Lord. But because it happens, it must be endured. President Howard W. Hunter said that “God knows what we do not know and sees what we do not see.”

President Brigham Young offered this profound insight that at least some of our suffering has a purpose when he said: “Every calamity that can come upon mortal beings will be suffered to come upon the few, to prepare them to enjoy the presence of the Lord. … Every trial and experience you have passed through is necessary for your salvation.”

In our day the Lord has admonished us, “Ye ought to forgive one another,” and then makes it requisite when He says, “I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.”
Of course, society needs to be protected from hardened criminals, because mercy cannot rob justice.
Forgiveness is a source of power. But it does not relieve us of consequences...

...When tragedy strikes, we should not respond by seeking personal revenge but rather let justice take its course and then let go. It is not easy to let go and empty our hearts of festering resentment. The Savior has offered to all of us a precious peace through His Atonement, but this can come only as we are willing to cast out negative feelings of anger, spite, or revenge. For all of us who forgive “those who trespass against us,” even those who have committed serious crimes, the Atonement brings a measure of peace and comfort.

Let us remember that we need to forgive to be forgiven.

Temple Worthiness

2009-04-28T14:41:00.000-07:00

Temple worthiness is determined by the candidate, together with the bishop or branch president, and by a member of the stake or mission presidency, after they interview the person who is applying for a temple recommend. The requirements are straightforward:

* Being morally clean
* Sustaining the Prophet as the only one on earth authorized to exercise all priesthood keys
* Living according to the standards of the Church
* Having no unresolved sins
* Being honest
* Being an active member in good standing
* Paying a full tithe
* Having a righteous relationship within the family
* Sustaining local and general Church leaders
* Keeping the Word of Wisdom
* Having no apostate affiliations

Question: Is this a beginning, an ending, or merely a comma? Is there more, or is that all there is for me to declare myself ¨temple worthy¨?

After I was divorced, I obsessed about this question endlessly. Other people called into doubt my legitimacy to hold a recommend, even though I had gone though the proper process to obtain one. At one point I was carrying enough mental angst that I tore up my recommend and resolved never to return to the temple.

I have since rethought that foolish and distraught resolution. I cannot allow anyone to deprive me of sacred blessings I stand so in need of, and cannot obtain anywhere else.

I recognize that every effort of the adversary will be exerted to keep me from the Lord´s house. No matter, I will obey the Lord´s commands, not the self-righteous sniping of some ever unhappy gossips. Those who seek to keep us from obtaining those blessings would do well to consider the probable motives behind such actions. I would advise all such to get out of those circumstances as quickly as possible. It should not be a comfortable spot, in that great and spacious building, I think.

My church leaders and I determined honestly that I can serve worthily in the temple. That is the only judgement that matters.

All else is just as the sound of wind blowing across the empty desert -- it means nothing.

Spring is Sprung!

2009-04-28T06:37:00.000-07:00

I feel a springlike sense of exhilaration, even excitement about things just coming up. The grass is turning green. Lots of good things are just around the corner!

Rehab progress 31

2009-04-26T12:33:00.000-07:00

Have not written any updates about rehab progress in many months.

Most of the time has been spent struggling to stay in one place. Treadmills are like that.

I think I have sustained two minor ischemic attack incidents since December. One just after I was released from the University Hospital. And more recently, in April.

Dr. Butrum at the UVRMC says the MRI showed no signs. But the neurological deficits show up, and are persistent. If the symptoms were of very short term, as the aphasia, a TIA might be indicated. But my problem with foot drag persists for days and weeks. My right foot continues to lag behind the rest of me, and my right hand is still weaker, more than 15 days since the symptoms appeared. Dr. Hyatt, the family practice physician, agrees that this is indicative of new stroke damage, albeit very minor, and similar to that previously sustained and partially recovered from. Sigh. More ground to cover once again.

Oh well. Some of my blog readers expressed high hopes that I would die at the last hospitalization. I am uncertain of their reasoning -- I suppose because they think they are indebted to me, and if I die, they won´t have to pay the debt. Might be sound wisdom there. If so, sorry to disappoint, but I lived.

In any event, I forgive the ill-wishers their malice and their debts. I do not want their evil intentions aimed at me, nor do I want their money. Thanks anyway.

I have been coasting at my Physical Therapy sessions, but am planning to work harder on balance and equilibrium this week. If I can make it through a week without falling down, it will be an encouraging sign. Hope for the best.

Come what may -- and LOVE it!

Back in Service

2009-04-24T13:05:00.000-07:00

After a long winter vacation and a series of unfortunate incidents, all of our basic transportation is back in service:

Chevy Silverado 4wd crew cab pickup w/shell
Toyota 4-Runner 4wd SUV
Dodge Dakota 4wd crew cab pickup w/shell
Nissan Maxima sedan

The Toyota needed a new center link and back window, along with new marker lights and new plastic grille to make it presentable, but it is feeling much better new. The Dakota received a rebuilt transmission and transaxle thanks to Dans Trans. And the Nissan needed a new power steering booster, but now is good as ever. All together, about $5000 in vehicle repair parts and labor. Pretty hefty price tag, but they should stand up for another season.

Also in the lineup of ATV equipment:

Polaris 800 Sportsman w/winch
Honda 500
Polaris 500
Polaris 350

Utah Places: Snow Canyon

2009-04-22T04:45:00.000-07:00

If I didn´t know about Snow Canyon State Park, I would think there are people trying to keep it secret. It must be the most under publicized and unknown parks in Utah.

Sculptured sandstone beckons the intrepid climber to test the grip of his soles, and many wind-shaped bowls and pockets form a natural sandy playground for children. A good collection of live dunes graces the middle area of the park, with plenty of clean pink sand.

Several scenes from the film ¨Jeremiah Johnson" were staged in the Snow Canyon State Park area. Maybe you can re-enact the scene where Jeremiah and Caleb encounter Del Gue buried in the sand.

Also convenient to this location are several small volcanic ash cones that are a short, fun hike.

Utah Places: Virgin River

2009-04-22T03:41:00.000-07:00

The Virgin River cuts across southern Utah like a meandering giant knife. It leaves deep scars across the land from its passage as it carries the burden of silt and rock ever southward. Some of the scars of passage have left behind the most fascinating chronicle of passage. Twisting and tortuous, the Virgin River Gorge guides the north/south avenue of Interstate 15, which many travellers pass over, never stopping to consider how the passage was crafted. One grain at a time, the river has worn away at the rock an eaten the river bed down. The wind and rain have worked their part. Every bright sunbeam in the merciless heat, all the long nights of frost and freezing, even geological disturbances like fault shifting and earthquakes have done their work on this twisted, alien moonscape, producing such a blasted hades of rock and sand that even desert-adapted struggle for a bare foothold in the most inhospitible barren spots. Not even hardy lichen venture onto these rocks in the savage, baking heat of the full sun.

The easiest way to see the marvel of desolation is from the comfort of your air-conditioned car. For the hardy and boot-leather restless, try the Virgin River Recreation Area campground as a base of operations. Hosted by the BLM, it is virtually empty all year round, and give convenient access to explore the marvelous desert surroundings.

While you are there, take note of the fact that you are within the region now known as the ¨Arizona Strip¨, so notorious among those who battle against the raging wildfires that spring up in the area so frequently.

Utah Places: Zions Canyon

2009-04-20T17:46:00.000-07:00

If you were creating some of the most spectacular and enjoyable scenery on earth, and you had unlimited time and resources, you would probably come up with something very much like Zions. It is so beautiful, just to describe it in words is a cliche.

One of the problems with Zions park is that it encompasses such a vast area. Touristy types generally stray not too far from the standard fare -- although this is like saying the menu is full with prime rib. The well publicized main features of the park are unique and spectacular attractions. But a short distance from the main track, there are other wonders to behold...

Take the hike upstream from the canyon, and as it , and you encounter the Narrows -- an amazing labyrinth of twists and turns as the upper reaches of the Virgin River climb higher onto the Kapirowits Plateau. As with all canyon hikes, be mindful of frigid water, keeper potholes, and flash flooding with no advance notice flushing through.

Other hikes of note -- and notorious -- include many nearly subterranean adventures through slot canyons, like the famous Subway, pictured here. The Subway is reached via the Wildcat Canyon Trailhead on the highway northeast of the town of Virgin.

Here is another photo of a Zions backcountry destination -- Orderville Canyon. It must be seen to be appreciated. Nothing less than eyes on can convey the scope and breadth of majestic sculpture in these massive canyons.

General Conference: Adversity

2009-04-19T19:47:00.000-07:00

President Henry B. Eyring, First Counselor in the First Presidency:

With all the differences in our lives, we have at least one challenge in common. We all must deal with adversity. There may be periods, sometimes long ones, when our lives seem to flow with little difficulty. But it is in the nature of our being human that comfort gives way to distress, periods of good health come to an end, and misfortunes arrive. Particularly when the comfortable times have gone on for a while, the arrival of suffering or the loss of material security can bring fear and sometimes even anger.

The anger comes at least in part from a feeling that what is happening is unfair. The good health and the serene sense of being secure can become to seem deserved and natural. When they vanish, a feeling of injustice can come. Even a brave man I knew wept and cried out in his physical suffering to those who ministered to him: “I have always tried to be good. How could this happen?”

Questions often lead us to doubt our faith in God. The very chance to face adversity is a manifestation of Heavenly Father and our Savior´s love, though ti may not seem like it to us. We can only learn what we need to know through the hardship of tests and trials.

In this education we experience misery and happiness, sickness and health, the sadness from sin and the joy of forgiveness. That forgiveness can come only through the infinite Atonement of the Savior, which He worked out through pain we could not bear and which we can only faintly comprehend.

Alma:

“And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.

“And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.

“Now the Spirit knoweth all things; nevertheless the Son of God suffereth according to the flesh that he might take upon him the sins of his people, [so] that he might blot out their transgressions according to the power of his deliverance; and now behold, this is the testimony which is in me.”

Even the Prophet Joseph Smith cried out in agony in a dungeon:

“O God, where art thou? And where is the pavilion that covereth thy hiding place?

“How long shall thy hand be stayed, and thine eye, yea thy pure eye, behold from the eternal heavens the wrongs of thy people and of thy servants, and thine ear be penetrated with their cries?”

The Lord’s reply has helped me and can encourage us all in times of darkness. Here it is:

“My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;

“And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.

“Thy friends do stand by thee, and they shall hail thee again with warm hearts and friendly hands.

“Thou art not yet as Job; thy friends do not contend against thee, neither charge thee with transgression, as they did Job.”

The Lord will rescue His faithful disciples. And the disciple who accepts a trial as an invitation to grow and therefore qualify for eternal life can find peace in the midst of the struggle.

You remember the moment when Alma turned to the man who led the people in distress. The man told him that they had been persecuted and rejected for their poverty. And the record goes:

“And now when Alma heard this, he turned him about, his face immediately towards him, and he beheld with great joy; for he beheld that their afflictions had truly humbled them, and that they were in a preparation to hear the word.

“Therefore he did say no more to the other multitude; but he stretched forth his hand, and cried unto those whom he beheld, who were truly penitent, and said unto them:

“I behold that ye are lowly in heart; and if so, blessed are ye.”

The scripture goes on to praise those of us who prepared for adversity in the more prosperous times. Many of you had the faith to try to qualify for the help you now need, before the crisis came.

Alma continued,

“Yea, he that truly humbleth himself, and repenteth of his sins, and endureth to the end, the same shall be blessed—yea, much more blessed than they who are compelled to be humble because of their exceeding poverty.”

The Lord always suits the relief to the person in need to best strengthen and purify him or her. Often it will come in the inspiration to do what might seem especially hard for the person who needs help himself. One of the great trials of life is losing to death a beloved husband or wife. President Hinckley described the hurt when Sister Hinckley was no longer at his side. The Lord knows the needs of those separated from loved ones by death. He saw the pain of widows and knew of their needs from His earthly experience. He asked a beloved Apostle, from the agony of the cross, to care for His widowed mother, who would now lose a son. He now feels the needs of husbands who lose their wives and the needs of wives who are left alone by death.

Most of us know widows who need attention. What touches me is to hear, as I have, of an older widow whom I was intending to visit again having been inspired to visit a younger widow to comfort her. A widow needing comfort herself was sent to comfort another. The Lord helped and blessed two widows by inspiring them to encourage each other. So He gave succor to them both.

That may seem much to ask of people in such great need themselves. But I know one young man who was inspired to do that very thing early in his marriage. He and his wife were barely getting by on a tiny budget. But he saw another couple even poorer than they were. To the surprise of his wife, he gave help to them from their scanty finances. A promised blessing of peace came while they were still in their poverty. The blessing of prosperity beyond their fondest dreams came later. And the pattern of seeing someone in need, someone with less or in pain, has never ceased.

“But watch thou in all things, endure afflictions, do the work of an evangelist, make full proof of thy ministry.

“For I am now ready to be offered, and the time of my departure is at hand.

“I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith:

“Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing.”

God the Father lives. He set a course for each of us that can polish and perfect us to be with Him. The Savior lives. His Atonement makes possible our being purified as we keep His commandments and our sacred covenants. And I know from my own experience that He can and will give us strength to rise through every trial. President Monson is the Lord’s prophet. He holds all the keys of the priesthood. This is the Lord’s true Church in which we are, with Him, lifting each other and being blessed to succor the fellow sufferers He places in our way.

General Conference: The Power of Covenants

2009-04-19T19:42:00.000-07:00

Elder D. Todd Christofferson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles illustrated why power is so much needed in our day and will become increasingly crucial in days ahead. Strong Christians can persevere against hardship, sustaining hope through tragedy, lift others by their example and their compassion, consistently overcoming temptations, making things happen by their faith, and defending the truth of Jesus Christ against moral relativism and militant atheism. Moral and spiritual power is from God. We access that power through our covenants with Him.

Priesthood ordinances manifest our commitment. Our foundational covenant, for example, is confirmed by the ordinance of baptism, individually, by name, and thereby we become part of the covenant people of the Lord, and heirs of the celestial kingdom of God. Other sacred ordinances are performed in temples.

The doctrines and commandments of the gospel constitute the substance of an everlasting covenant between God and man that is newly restored in each dispensation. If we were to state the new and everlasting covenant in one sentence it would be this: "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life" (John 3:16). Jesus explained what it means to believe in Him: "Now this is the commandment [or in other words, this is the covenant]: Repent, all ye ends of the earth, and come unto me and be baptized in my name, that ye may be sanctified by the reception of the Holy Ghost, that ye may stand spotless before me at the last day" (3 Nephi 27:20).

Making and keeping covenants with God gives us power. As we walk in obedience to the principles of the gospel, God promises in His covenant with us that we will receive a continual flow of blessings. Those blessings provide the resources we need to act, rather than simply be acted upon, as we go through life. Obedience gives us greater control over our lives, greater capacity to come and go, to work and create. Of course, age, accident, and illnesses inevitably take their toll, but even so, our obedience to this gospel law enhances our capacity to deal with these challenges.

In the covenant path we find a steady supply of gifts and help. "Charity never faileth" (1 Corinthians 13:8; Moroni 7:46), love begets love, compassion begets compassion, virtue begets virtue, commitment begets loyalty, and service begets joy. We are part of a covenant people, a community of Saints who encourage, sustain, and minister to one another. As Nephi explained, "And if it so be that the children of men keep the commandments of God he doth nourish them, and strengthen them" (1 Nephi 17:3).

All this is not to say that life in the covenant is free of challenge or that the obedient soul should be surprised if disappointments or even disasters interrupt his peace. If you feel that personal righteousness should preclude all loss and suffering, you might want to have a chat with Job.

Our covenants produce the faith necessary to persevere and to do all things that are expedient in the Lord. Our willingness to take upon us the name of Christ and keep His commandments requires a degree of faith, but as we honor our covenants, that faith expands.

the promised fruits of obedience become evident, which confirms our faith
the Spirit communicates God's pleasure, and we feel secure in His continued blessing and help
then, come what may, we can face life with hope and equanimity, knowing that we will succeed in the end because we have God's promise to us individually, by name, and we know He cannot lie (see Enos 1:6; Ether 3:12).

Early Church leaders:

"It was [the knowledge that their course in life conformed to the will of God] that enabled the ancient saints to endure all their afflictions and persecutions, and to take . . . not only the spoiling of their goods, and the wasting of their substance, joyfully, but also to suffer death in its most horrid forms; knowing (not merely believing) that when this earthly house of their tabernacle was dissolved, they had a building of God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. (2 Cor. 5:1.)" (Lectures on Faith [1985], 67).

They further pointed out that in offering whatever sacrifice God may require of us, we obtain the witness of the Spirit that our course is right and pleasing to God (see Lectures on Faith, 69–71). With that knowledge, our faith becomes unbounded, having the assurance that God will in due time turn every affliction to our gain.

Some of you have been sustained by that faith as you have endured those who point fingers of scorn from the "great and spacious building" and cry, "Shame!" (see 1 Nephi 8:26–27), and you have stood firm with Peter and the Apostles of old, "rejoicing that [you] were counted worthy to suffer shame for [Christ's] name" (Acts 5:41).

The Lord said of the Church:

"Verily I say unto you, all among them who . . . are willing to observe their covenants by sacrifice—yea, every sacrifice which I, the Lord, shall command—they are accepted of me.

"For I, the Lord, will cause them to bring forth as a very fruitful tree which is planted in a goodly land, by a pure stream, that yieldeth much precious fruit" (D&C 97:8–9).

The Apostle Paul understood that one who has entered into a covenant with God is both given the faith to face trials and gains even greater faith through those trials. Of his personal "thorn in the flesh" (2 Corinthians 12:7), he observed:

"For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me.

"And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

"Therefore I take pleasure in [my] infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong" (2 Corinthians 12:8–10).3

A final aspect of strength through covenants is the gift of divine power -- our covenant commitment to Him permits our Heavenly Father to let His divine influence, "the power of godliness" (D&C 84:20), flow into our lives. He can do that because by our participation in priesthood ordinances we exercise our agency and elect to receive it. Our participation in those ordinances also demonstrates that we are prepared to accept the additional responsibility that comes with added light and spiritual power.

In all the ordinances, especially those of the temple, we are endowed with power from on high. This "power of godliness" comes in the person and by the influence of the Holy Ghost. The gift of the Holy Ghost is part of the new and everlasting covenant. It is an essential part of our baptism, the baptism of the Spirit. It is the messenger of grace by which the blood of Christ is applied to take away our sins and sanctify us (see 2 Nephi 31:17). It is the gift by which Adam was "quickened in the inner man" (Moses 6:65). It was by the Holy Ghost that the ancient Apostles endured all that they endured and by their priesthood keys carried the gospel to the known world of their day.

When we have entered into divine covenants, the Holy Ghost is our comforter, our guide, and our companion. The fruits of the Holy Spirit are "the peaceable things of immortal glory; the truth of all things; that which quickeneth all things, which maketh alive all things; that which knoweth all things, and hath all power according to wisdom, mercy, truth, justice, and judgment" (Moses 6:61). The gifts of the Holy Spirit are testimony, faith, knowledge, wisdom, revelations, miracles, healing, and charity, to name but a few (see D&C 46:13–26).

It is the Holy Ghost that bears witness of your words when you teach and testify. It is the Holy Ghost that, as you speak in hostile venues, puts into your heart what you should say and fulfills the Lord's promise that "you shall not be confounded before men" (D&C 100:5). It is the Holy Ghost that reveals how you may clear the next seemingly insurmountable hurdle. It is by the Holy Ghost in you that others may feel the pure love of Christ and receive strength to press forward. It is also the Holy Ghost, in His character as the Holy Spirit of Promise, that confirms the validity and efficacy of your covenants and seals God's promises upon you.5

Divine covenants make strong Christians. I urge each one to qualify for and receive all the priesthood ordinances you can and then faithfully keep the promises you have made by covenant. In times of distress, let your covenants be paramount and let your obedience be exact. Then you can ask in faith, nothing wavering, according to your need, and God will answer. He will sustain you as you work and watch. In His own time and way He will stretch forth his hand to you, saying, "Here am I."

General Conference: Finding Strength in Challenging Times

2009-04-19T04:19:00.000-07:00

Elder Allan F. Packer of the Seventy addressed individuals and families across the world challenged by current conditions, with the knowledge that it is a wonderful time to be alive, especially for the youth. We see children and grandchildren having full, satisfying lives even as they have challenges, setbacks, and obstacles to overcome.

These are the days when prophecies are being fulfilled. We live in the dispensation of the fulness of times, which is the time to prepare for the Savior’s return. It is also the time to work out our own salvation.

When the winds blow and the rains pour, they blow and pour on all. Those who have built their foundations on bedrock rather than sand survive the storms. There is a way to build on bedrock by developing a deep personal conversion to the gospel of Jesus Christ and knowing how to receive inspiration. We must know—and know that we know. We must stand spiritually and temporally independent of all worldly creatures. This begins by understanding that God the Father is the Father of our spirits and that He loves us, that Jesus Christ is our Redeemer and Savior, and that the Holy Ghost can communicate with our minds and our hearts. This is how we receive inspiration. We need to learn how to recognize and apply these promptings.

Elder Packer recalls when he was young, he played football in high school. They practiced until the skills became natural and automatic. During one play against our big rival, my assigned opponent, moved to my right into the line of scrimmage.

There was a lot of noise from players and fans. I reacted as the coach had taught us and followed my man into the line, not knowing if he had the ball. To my surprise, I felt the ball partially in my hands. I gave it a tug, but my opponent didn’t let go. As we tugged back and forth, amid all the noise I heard a voice yelling, “Packer, tackle him!” That was enough to bring me to my senses, so I dropped him on the spot.

Elder Packer finds a lesson in wondering how heard that voice above all the other noise. He explains that he had become acquainted with the coachs voice during practice, and learned to trust it.

In like manner, we need to be acquainted with the promptings of the Holy Ghost, and to practice and apply gospel teachings until they become natural and automatic. These promptings become the foundation of our testimonies. Then our testimonies will keep us happy and safe in troubled times.

Elder Dallin H. Oaks defined a testimony this way: “A testimony of the gospel is a personal witness borne to our souls by the Holy Ghost that certain facts of eternal significance are true and that we know them to be true.” At another time Elder Oaks said, “Testimony is to know and to feel, conversion is to do and to become.”

There are several things we can do to develop a deep conversion and learn how to receive divine inspiration:

For I know that he granteth unto men according to their desire, whether it be unto death or unto life . . . according to their wills...Alma 29:4

We will compare the word unto a seed. Now, if ye give place, that a seed may be planted in your heart, behold, if it be a true seed, or a good seed, if ye do not cast it out by your unbelief, that ye will resist the Spirit of the Lord, behold, it will begin to swell within your breasts; and when you feel these swelling motions, ye will begin to say within yourselves—It must needs be that this is a good seed, or that the word is good, for it beginneth to enlarge my soul; yea, it beginneth to enlighten my understanding, yea, it beginneth to be delicious to me. Alma 32:28

But, behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right. And if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right. Doctrine and Covenants 9:8-9

Joseph Smith:

A person may profit by noticing the first intimation of the spirit of revelation; for instance, when you feel pure intelligence flowing into you, it may give you sudden strokes of ideas, so that by noticing it, you may find it fulfilled the same day or soon; (i.e.) those things that were presented unto your minds by the Spirit of God, will come to pass; and thus by learning the Spirit of God and understanding it, you may grow into the principle of revelation, until you become perfect in Christ Jesus.

Testimonies can come as dramatic manifestations, but they usually do not. We risk missing the answers which come as quiet, reassuring feelings and thoughts that most often come after our prayers, while we are doing something else.

Seeking a testimony of truth opens the window of inspiration. Prayer is the most common and powerful way to invite inspiration. Asking a question, even in our minds, will start to open the window. The scriptures teach, “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.”

“If any man will do his will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God, or whether I speak of myself.”

Thus a personal witness will come, and we will know—and know that we know. We will then be independent of all other worldly things, for “by the power of the Holy Ghost [we] may know the truth of all things” which are right and expedient for us. We will receive strength, comfort, and help to make good decisions and act with confidence in troubled times.

This witness is not limited to the leaders but is available to all men, women, youth, and even little children. Having the capacity to receive personal inspiration will be necessary in the coming days.

Signs of a Stroke?.....

2009-04-18T17:48:00.000-07:00

I copied this info from here, but much the same can be found about the health network on the internet.

Stroke: Know the Symptoms
The warning signs of a stroke may include:
Visual problems like a sudden change in vision or sudden double vision
Numbness of the face, weak arms or legs, weakness on one side of the body
Disorientation, problems with speech (e.g., slurred speech), and/or trouble understanding others
Trouble walking, dizziness, loss of balance or coordination
Painful headache that comes on suddenly and has no known cause
Stroke: Risk Factors
Some stroke factors can be controlled; others can’t. Here are some key risk factors that you should be aware of:
Age. Once you turn 55, your risk of stroke practically doubles every decade.
Family and personal history. If a close family member has had a stroke, or if you have had a stroke, TIA ( transient ischemic attack, a small stroke that causes little or no damage), or heart attack, your stroke risk is increased.
Other health conditions.High blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes, heart disease, atrial fibrillation, and sickle cell anemia are all factors that increase your risk for stroke.
Your lifestyle.Smoking cigarettes, eating a high-fat and/or high-sodium diet, being obese, and not getting enough exercise can all increase your risk of stroke.
Stroke: Early Treatment
Every second counts when restoring blood flow to the brain because with every second lost, more brain cells die. Early recognition of stroke symptoms is crucial — the sooner treatment is given, the better.
One of the best treatments for blood clots — the cause of ischemic strokes — is tissue plasminogen activator, or t-PA, a clot-busting drug that works quickly to dissolve a clot and restore blood flow to the brain. But it must be given within the first few hours after symptoms start. While t-PA is not appropriate for people who suffer a hemorrhagic (bleeding) stroke, about 80 percent of strokes are caused by blood clots.
Anti-clotting medications and other blood thinners may also be given to people who have had an ischemic stroke, to help reduce the risk of another blood clot forming. Emergency surgery may also be done to open a blocked artery or repair a burst blood vessel.
The best thing to do if you or someone you know may be experiencing symptoms of stroke is to call 911 to get the most immediate medical attention possible.

Signs of a stroke?... Maybe, maybe not...

On Wednesday afternoon, I was taking a short nap, and when I woke up I felt very groggy and sick like I had before when I was having a stroke. I tried to get into the house from my bedroom, but had a very hard time walking. My right leg was very uncooperative, and my whole body felt numb, especially my head. It felt detached and light, like it was floating off somewhere separate from the rest of me. My face was undergoing the numb tingling feeling like a plastic mask over my nose and cheeks.

I stumbled into the house, and could only mumble stupid noises at my dad, who told me to lay on the couch. I laid down for a while, but the bad feeling and confusion continued to build. Finally I tried to speak to dad to tell him I thought something was wrong, but by that time my words were coming out as unrecognizable gibberish syllables. I sat helpless and gibbering for a time while dad deliberated with mom about what to do, and they finally decided to call 911 for help.

I was about past noticing by then, but I understand that a whole herd of friend and neighbors showed up to guide the ambulance and help load me up.

I don´t remember much of the long night, after that, but apparently after some deliberation st Sanpete Valley Hospital, I ended up riding in the ambulance with Shannon Nuttall and friends to Utah Valley Regional Medical Center, where I was admitted for suspected stroke.

To make a long story short, the Neurologist, Dr. Butrum, ordered a MRI brain scan, and found no new stroke damage. Either the new deficits are short-term artifacts of basilar migraine spasms, or they are products of TIAs affecting areas previously stroke-damaged brain stem areas with new deficits. In any case, the major aphasia cleared up fairly quickly, after a rather frightful episode of speechlessness.

Let that be a lesson to all. The call to 911 was exactly the right thing to do, because there is no way short of MRI scan to distinguish quickly between symptoms of ischemia and other neurological weirdness. In this case, MRI is the right tool, at the right time. I spent another night in the hospital, under the watchful care of several kind and compassionate staff, then was released to go home on Friday. Thanks to doctors and care providers for quick thinking and acting -- it might have been otherwise.

General Conference: Respect and Reverence

2009-04-17T19:09:00.000-07:00

Margaret S. Lifferth, First Counselor in the Primary General Presidency, was the next speaker following Elder Hales to address the conference. She appropriately gave counsel on respect and reverence.

To illustrate the need for these qualities, Sister Lifferth cited the Saviorś counsel to Peter: ¨Feed my lambs. . . . Feed my sheep." She likens our love for Jesus to Peter and his devotion to the Master. To truly be able to feed His lambs and nourish His sheep with testimony and the Spirit, we must cultivate in our homes and classrooms these two qualities:

respect for each other
reverence for God.

Sister Lifferth suggests that reverence for God is strengthened as we show respect for each other. Today’s standards of decorum, dignity, and courtesy are abysmally low.

Be an example:

in the home
by the way I treat those I love
during a sports even
with a teacher, coach, or peer.

Ask -- Do I listen to both sides of a disputed issue?
Do I show respect for the property of others?
How do I respond to others with whom I disagree in matters of

religion
lifestyle
politics?

As parents and leaders exemplify and teach respect for others, we confirm in the hearts of our children that each of us is truly a child of God and all are brothers and sisters through eternity. We will focus on the things we have in common—on the qualities of heart that bind the family of God together, rather than on our differences.

Respect for others and reverence for God are rooted in humility and love.

President David O. McKay said that "reverence is profound respect mingled with love,"and Elder L. Tom Perry taught that "reverence flows from our admiration and respect for Deity."

Reverent behavior is a quality that is most children learn from parents and leaders through example and training. Harshness in our approach begets resentment, not reverence. We may be introducing first attempts at self-discipline, and as this process continues to build on itself, we grow in ability as well as understanding.

We bless our children and youth as we exemplify, teach, and encourage them through this process because self-mastery is not only the root of self-respect, it is essential in inviting the Spirit to teach, confirm, and testify.

Show proper respect for local priesthood and auxiliary leaders as well. These leaders are called of God and have been given sacred responsibilities.

On Sunday, chapels are places of worship where we renew covenants that will heal our souls. We learn doctrine and testimony. Missionaries bring their investigators. In an attitude of reverence the Spirit confirms the truths of the gospel.

We are a friendly people and we love each other, but reverence will increase if our socializing is done in the foyer and if sacrament meeting begins with the prelude music, not the opening prayer.

Encourage reverence by taking a crying child out of the chapel. and Find another room where we continue to listen to the meeting until the baby is calmed or a disruptive toddler is soothed. Reverence includes turning off our cell phones and BlackBerry devices. Texting or reading e-mails in a Church meeting is not only irreverent, it is distracting and signals a lack of respect for those around us. So we exemplify reverence by participating in the meeting, listening to the speakers, and singing the hymns of Zion together.

Our teachers in Primary, Sunday School, and the youth programs have unique opportunities to teach and exemplify respect and reverence.

love those in your class, especially the disruptive who may need love most
take the time to explain what reverence is and why it is important
display a picture of the Savior.
define behavior that is acceptable
be loving and consistent as you not only encourage it but expect it
prepare yourself to teach with the Spirit
problems with reverence can be defused with a well-prepared lesson in which the students participate
talk with parents of children who have disabilities
determine a reasonable expectation for their child
every child deserves a chance to progress
use the resources of the ward to help
if there is a reverence problem with children or youth, there is a reverence problem in the ward
take concerns to the ward council
ward leaders work together
increase respect and reverence on every level

Sister Lifferth quotes from one of President Packers great promises:

"While we may not see an immediate, miraculous transformation, as surely as the Lord lives, a quiet one will take place. The spiritual power in the lives of each member and in the Church will increase. The Lord will pour out his Spirit upon us more abundantly. We will be less troubled, less confused. We will find revealed answers to personal and family problems."

The Reunion: chapter three

2009-04-14T20:07:00.000-07:00

Time for the next chapter. After listening to spiritual promptings to call my long lost father, then having some good telephone conversations, and a positive first meeting, we were off to a promising start. We also made some ground rules to add a solid foundation to our relationship.

Following the initial leap of faith, and re-constructing a bond of mutual trust, love, and respect, it was time to move forward to another step of progress. Since you can't have much real privacy in a restaurant, due to time constraints, ordering and eating food, visits from the waiter/waitress, and the overall dull roar, the best choice is visiting at home. We made arrangements to come to hideaway valley to visit at my grandparents home.

Just finding their' home for the first time was a bit of an adventure. They live off the beaten path to say the least. Not to mention this was early December, and the threat of a blizzard is very real, considering the elevation of their' home is about 6500 ft. Of course, having lived in Alaska for two years, there's not going to be anything I haven't seen or dealt with before.

It is also worth noting, that cell phone service is basically unavailable once you leave Spanish Fork and head down US 6, and then onto US 89. We circumvented this issue by calling when we were about an hour away, and having my dad meet us by the highway to lead us the rest of the way. We made our way down, despite some snow and wind, until we saw my dad waiting in his' trusty old Toyota 4runner. He warned that the roads were really bad, but I assured him that as long as the road was wide enough, my 4x4 Dodge Ram will do just fine. Despite nearly a foot of mostly unplowed roads, we made it with no trouble at all.

Wow! The place sure had changed since I saw it last. They were just building it back in '93 and now it is finished and very nice. It's two stories tall, yellow with a black roof. My grandma likes yellow. On the main floor is a kitchen and dining room on the east side, and the master bedroom and great room to the west side. There is an amazing stone fireplace with a pot belly stove, used to heat the whole house. Upstairs is two more large bedrooms, and storage space. The front and back porches are great too, the are covered and run the length of the home. Close to the home, is a garage, half of which has been converted to an apartment where my dad lives.

We had another excellent visit, and made plans to attend the family Christmas party. The party was held at the Lds meeting house on Canyon road in Provo, near to my uncle Carl's home. At the party, I saw a lot of people that we had not seen in a long time. Now, it's been while, but I do remember seeing Carl and Cindy and their' kids, also Darren and Ruth and their' kids, as well as Rick and Beth and their' kids. Of course my dad and grandparents were there as well. It was a fun time, despite the fact that the church felt as warm as a glacier! Oh well. There were a few other people there as well, but I don't recall who they were.

Over the next few months, we visited both in hideaway valley, and a few restaurants in Utah county. We hosted them at my in-laws place in West Jordan, simply because it is much larger than our home. There was a brief pause in our relationship when my dad and his' friend Ricky started a work project in Milford Flats, and his' parents went on a trip to Minnesota. My dad was also quite busy doing firefighter training and serving as ward clerk and with the cub scouts.
Not that we had any problems, just a busy time in life. Well, that's it for chapter three.

Who to Believe: Hugh Nibley or Martha?

2009-04-14T16:38:00.000-07:00

I was doing some research online today, prompted in part by my last conversation with my brother-in-law Darrin, and I came across some interesting references.

Five years ago, Hugh Nibley was in failing health. Nibley is personally interesting both because he played such an important role in development of church studies at BYU and elsewhere, and because of his link to our common ancestor, Alexander Neibaur, who was rather prominent in church history contmporary with Joseph Smith, Brigham Young, and other early church leaders during the Nauvoo era.

Nibley was an important figure in his own right, having established a well-respected discipline of LDS church-related studies and interests, stemming from all kinds of distant fields like archaeology, cultural anthropology, ancient languages and linguistics, ancient and modern religion culture and practices, through every conceivable connection, some cabinet curiosity-types, and some very meaningful parallels. Nibleyś work was unorthodox and disturbing to many more conventional academic types, too frenetic and frenzied and altogether too religious for the staid school of agnostic scholastic professors, and too complex for most Mormons to understand the big words. He challenged us every step of the way. A brilliant, dynamic man, driven to heights not oft achieved in LDS academic circles.

The thing that struck me was one facet of Nibley and his personal life, if we might presume to know something about that. It seems that, as Nibley lay in failing health, one of his daughters claimed to be recovering memories from her childhood of ritual sexual abuse. She had supposedly repressed these traumatic memories for, until later with the assistance of her professional psychiatrist spouse, she was able to coax from her reluctant mind these long-buried ugly family secrets. Martha Beck talks about her discovery and gradual evolution of the case in a sensational book, Leaving the Saints The Deseret News article reviews the book here.

Martha is as accomplished as Hugh at spinning stories, but unfortunately not as good at maintaining an even keel. Whether or not she is telling an honest story, you judge for yourself -- chances are, you can check the book out at the local public library. I found it to be internally flawed and substantially over dramatized, at least in the parts I have personal understanding of. All in all, I judged that the story did a great deal more to discredit and invalidate Beck than it did to hurt Hugh Nibley, the church, or BYU.

But that was my impression. You must draw your own conclusions.

General Conference: Becoming Provident Providers

2009-04-13T15:41:00.000-07:00

Elder Robert D. Hales of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles delivered opening remarks following President Monson. I thought it set an appropriate tone for the rest of the conference.

He offered to all whose freedom to choose has been diminished by the effects of ill-advised choices of the past:

excessive debt
addictions to drugs
addictions to food
pornography
lower self-worth.

All of these excesses affect us individually and undermine our family relationships.

Elder Hales counseled us to shed addictions in this time of economic uncertainty. His warning was clear and certain -- the challenges of this day are to contribute to our strength, because the Lord will never allow suffering to befall us beyond our capacity.

We measure success by how faithfully we respond to challenge, seeking help from our Heavenly Father and strength through the Atonement in both temporal and spiritual things, which assistance enables us to become provident providers for ourselves and others.

How then do we avoid and overcome the patterns of debt and addiction to temporal, worldly things? Two lessons apply.

First ¨We can’t afford it.”

Second “Is the purpose of this gift to show your love for me or to show me that you are a good provider or to prove something to the world?”

These two lessons are the essence of provident living. When faced with the choice to buy, consume, or engage in worldly things and activities, we all need to learn to say to one another, “We can’t afford it, even though we want it!” or “We can afford it, but we don’t need it—and we really don’t even want it!”

We can learn much from communicating. Help each other become provident providers and teach our children to live providently.

The law of the tithe is the foundation of provident living. Tithing helps us overcome our desires for the things of this world and willingly make sacrifices for others.

review in family council:

family income plan
savings plan
spending plan

Whenever we want to experience or possess something that will impact us and our resources, we want to ask , “Is the benefit temporary, or will it have eternal value and significance?” to avoid excessive debt and other addictive behavior.

In seeking to overcome debt and addictive behaviors, we should remember that addiction is the craving of the natural man, and it can never be satisfied....We must want, more than anything else, to do our Heavenly Father’s will and providently provide for ourselves and others. With all the love I have in me and with the Savior’s love through me, I invite you to come unto Him and hear His words: “Wherefore, do not spend money for that which is of no worth, nor your labor for that which cannot satisfy.

Elder Hales testifies in closing:

...The appetite to possess worldly things can only be overcome by turning to the Lord. The hunger of addiction can only be replaced by our love for Him. He stands ready to help each one of us. “Fear not,” He said, “for you are mine, and I have overcome the world” (D&C 50:41).