Wednesday, October 22, 2014
According to an incisive and insightful new analysis at the website 24/7 Wall St., Utah ranks as the worst state in the entire nation for women.
The specifics are not all that relevant. Obviously Utah just needs to clean up it's act, right away. If we can just convince the "worst" women to move somewhere else, I'm sure we can field a better performance almost immediately.
Please don't be fooled by the apparent trivial nature of this rank "ranking". What matters most is making it to the bottom 25. Indeed, the primacy of the race to the bottom has prevailed in many important issues in this country for many years. Some of the most popular celebrities of our time are correctly characterized as "bottom feeders".
So I'm advocating a voluntary "Utah Betterment" campaign. Will all the "worst" women in Utah, please self-identify - and move someplace else. California and Colorado will joyfully embrace the very worst of you. So please don't hesitate. The sooner you are gone, the better this place will be.
And please note - we only seek to rid Utah of the "worst" women, for the sake of a better ranking. All those who are more moderate in their "worstness" can rest easy, no need for you to pack.