Thursday, March 19, 2009

Hey, BEB!

That is, benign essential blepharospasm. An inexplicable tic in eyelid muscle causes effectual blindness while the twitch lasts. With me, sometimes minutes, sometimes hours.

I have experienced many episodes throughout my adult life, but like the migraine experience, thought I was just supposed to endure it in sillent suffering. It always went away -- eventually -- after taking a fearful toll on me.

I was afraid all kinds of things of things were wrong with my eyes.

My computer programming skills were so visually oriented, the very thought of compromised eyesight caused me to fear greatly, and was one of the chief problems leading to divorce and suicidal ideation in 1994. My ex-wife never comprehended that fear -- she was outfitted with glasses since grade school. For me, just the threat was a major personal crises, and she tossed it off as more or less casual, or so it seemed to me at the time. As I have asserted at other times and other places, however, my sorrows remain my own. Only the Savior can truly share them.

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