Thursday, October 09, 2008

Voices in the Dark



I have an occasional experience that seems inexplicable to me. I hear a voice in the night.

Most often it sounds like my father. It is a compelling tone, so strongly commanding and urgent that I always respond immediately. On hearing the voice, I sit up in the bed and usually I answer with something like, "What is wanted?", or sometimes just acknowledgement that I hear. Whatever my response, there has never been a reply. Just the ringing, empty silence and continuing darkness.

I have questioned my dad many times about hearing him calling me in the night. It has never been him. Circumstances are usually such that it is easy to determine that it was not his voice I heard. Yet it always seems so compelling, so real to me. I don't know what to make of it.

I have tried to compare my experience to that of the boy Samuel, living with Israel's then prophet, Eli. Samuel heard a voice calling his name in the night, and not realizing that the Lord was calling out to him, he went to Eli, asking what he wanted. After this manifestation was repeated several times, Eli realized that it was the Lord calling out to Samuel in the night. Eli told Samuel to answer, "Speak, Lord, for thy servant heareth." Samuel followed his instruction, and was given a special message from God.

Though I would like my experiences to be comparable, I have never heard anything further on any of these occasions. Just darkness and silence. I have never been certain if God is trying to send me a special message, or if perhaps I am simply delusional, in some fairly consistent way.

The voice I hear is not invariably the same voice. Sometimes, I hear my mother calling me. Sometimes, it is my brother (which is curious, since he has been dead now for some length of time). Rarely I cannot identify the speaker. But always, the voice carries an unmistakable and compelling tone of the greatest urgency.

I have never been able to discern what this voice portends. It never continues with any further message -- simply awakens me, and leaves me with the feeling that there is something that I must do, some response that is so important that it leaves me wondering for housrs and hours afterward.

I'd sure like to hear the rest of the message. Or at least, I believe I would.

7 comments:

Tim Malone said...

Of course I have to ask, have you considered that there might be someone from the spirit world seeking to get your attention? I can't suggest why or who, but I'm just wondering if this thought had crossed your mind. I'll bet it has.

Upon re-reading your post, I think that's what you are trying to say - that someone is urgently trying to get your attention. Which then prompts me to ask, why would this impress you as being urgent? Is there some task they want you to perform or something they want you to discover and learn? I'm sure you have asked yourself these same questions. Most curious.

Upon a third re-reading of your post I see plainly that this has caused you many hours of thought and pondering. That must be a powerful and impressive voice. I'll bet it is indeed someone you know - a family member perhaps. God bless you in your efforts to discover what the message could be.

Billy Bob Bambino Bombabious Baby the Third said...

I have these kinds of experiences, only not in this way (?). I infrequently will awake, or better expressed, come to consciousness, after having been asleep for varying periods of time. Due to the chemicals that your body produces to eliminate movement while sleeping, I find myself aware of my thoughts and body but unable to move. Even opening my eyes is something I cannot command myself to do. So I lay there in the dark, panicky and paralyzed, irrationally worried that this is a permanent condition and feeling depondent. The first few times this happened to me I was REALLY panicky and thought I had been possessed. I spoke with others about it and they have said that they have experienced similar things. While it seems to be not uncommon, it still freaks me out.

On other occasions, I have definitely heard the voice of God, although not while I am sleeping. It is a real voice that speaks to my mind and heart, always (in my case) imparting comfort and words of instruction. I haven't heard the voice feel as imperative or compulsive like you, though.

One other thought. My patriarchal blessing refers to me as "William" which is curious because my first name is Fredrick. The patriarch didn't know I went by Bill. Further, only two people have regularly called me "William" and they are my father and grandfather who share my name - thus there is a very definite paternal connection and implication when someone calls me "William" as opposed even to "Bill" or "Billy" or even "son".

Jim Cobabe said...

Bill,

I am normally a very rational person, perhaps even to an extreme. Hearing voices was very disturbing to me when it first started, because rational explanations failed. Yet it happens. I cannot deny things that I experience firsthand.

It seems like a silly thing, upon reading my description. But the impact this voice has on my is one of the most galvanizing experiences I have ever felt. I cannot explain better, but suffice it to say, this voice comes to me with as much impact and reality as if you or another person was actually in the room, next to me, speaking directly to me. Then I see that no one is there. Very disconcerting.

I have a sceptical mind about such things. I tend to disbelieve the stories that other people tell about spooks or spirits or things that go bump in the night. But this voice is no scary story made up to frighten little children. It happens to me. I cannot explain what or why.

Cindy said...

Jim,

maybe it is enough that you continue to listen and are ready to hear? I have often desired to "hear" what needs to be heard, sometimes I have, sometimes not.

Cindy said...

Jim,

maybe it is enough that you continue to listen and are ready to hear? I have often desired to "hear" what needs to be heard, sometimes I have, sometimes not.

Brian said...

Kinda weird. not sure if i told you or not but I went to a mental ward for a few days. i was having visions of dad's face wherever i looked, i was hearing things, and even still i see things in the corner of my vision. It's really weird, but I figure I'll just deal with it. hopefully one of these days I dont see something, think it's something, swing to punch and realize it's my boss at my side! hahaha

Jim Cobabe said...

Brian,

Most of these problems seem troublesome if we let them get out of perspective. My experience with no compos mentis mostly taught me not to over-react. What is happening in my mind may not be an accurate reflection of the real world. Things that are not real cannot hurt me, unless I let them. When I have a scary experience, I just remind myself that it is not real, and it generally passes very quickly, not bothering me much any more. This is a way of coping that helps me stay on my feet.

Of course, there are such experiences that are very real. I believe that too, and so I watch carefully. I am sure, when the real thing happens, I will be able to tell the difference, and make the appropriate response.